Companion

She’s sitting at the door, giving me those eyes
Ready to go, again

There she is at my feet, staring up at me

She gives me affection without me having to seek it
She gives me love without me having to demand it
She gives me loyalty that I hope I will never break

She gives me complete trust
I’m her whole world
Where I go, she goes

There’s something about her from the first time she came into our lives
Her brown eyes have this look, this intelligence
You never think about until you have them longer than you expected

She’s the first dog that I’ve ever had for longer than a year
She’s the first dog that has crept into my heart

She’ll be four years old in a few months and still she’s a part of this family
She’s our forever dog

I never thought I would let another animal get this close
But she came into our lives as a gift from the grandparents

She has stayed and wrapped our lives around her.

She’s our Lunars

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Forever isn’t enough

Baby you make me want to do things that aren’t like me
You bring out the best in me
You’ve got my back when I’m trying to do anything that could possibly put me in danger
You’re own arms surround me even in my dreams

You’ve changed over the years and I still catch my breath
I’m falling back in love with you again
I’m learning to take in this new you
I accept you as you age
I love you and who you are becoming

You’ve got this way about you that just makes it easy to fall in love with you

The boy I met has nothing on the man that you’ve become

As this world keeps changing, you and I are staying together through it all
We are built strong
Because we’ve learned to evolve with each other

So, thank you baby for loving me
Thank you for sticking with me through these hard times

Not Another You

The last time I saw you, you stood in that doorway
Trying to tell me something that never came
Your letter that you were suppose to leave
Never arrived
I searched this house over and over
But I couldn’t find it anywhere
The last writing that you left on this earth
Is no longer in this realm

You said that you believe everything that I tell you
You say that you know that I can make it without you
Of course I can, I am a woman that can make it through anything

But not once have you asked me if my heart can still stay beating

When it comes to logic and brains I can survive you
I can make it day to day
But when it comes to my heart
I don’t want anyone else

I don’t want to try this all over again

I don’t want to know what its like to live with someone else

I’d rather be by myself

I don’t have a fear of being alone because I can surround myself with people
But I won’t let another man in
I’m not built that way
I’d rather spend nights alone in the bed we shared then try again

I’m not a girl that can move on after I’ve felt a love like what we have
No one else will be you
No one else will be able to penetrate these walls after you left
You came in and took my heart

You’re the one that I want
I want to be with

You’re the one I’d rather fight with than anyone else

In itself

In darkness lies none that are innocent

In despair lies none that hold life

In pain lies none that feel love

In hope lies none that touch death

In sadness lies none that know true happiness

In anger lies none that see their errors

In regret lies none that realize their worth

In love lies all that hears its song

In death lies none that can touch no more

In birth lies each to their own making

In life lies all that breathe

Parting Oblivion

I watched her the night a part of her died

I saw her digging the grave
the only evidence to what happened
She pulled herself together rather quickly
The only markings left from the pain
Was the tear stained shirt

He said there would never be another
He pledged love stopped
The night she left

The sun came through and showed all his lies
His cold eyes never looked back

But late at night when the media isn’t watching
He checks to see if she’s heading home
It’s only a quick glimpse
Then he shuts down his crystal ball
Goes back to the unfeeling bastard the world has come to love

Two people separated by stubborn pride, no apologies
Filled with misunderstandings and lies

She, never knowing
Him, never telling

Family Man

Today, I sat down, I heard the wife and the kids in the other room, being loud and obnoxious and it made me smile.

The other day I ran into a gentleman, a man who had seen hell and had a lot of pain.  He seeked me out and came up to me with his hat in his hand.

His sad eyes searched mine and began to tell me a story.

Years ago, he fell in love with a woman, that changed his life.  She gave him love and was so happy until he messed it all up.  He didn’t want to go into it but she left him, broke his heart.

He looked at me and asked me the strangest question, “Can you tell me about your family? Are you happy?”

I sat there and felt a smile come across my face and I looked at him and felt the need to tell him.  So I began with how I met the woman that would become my wife.  I described her with all the love I held. I told him about our kids and how our daily life is.  Yes, sometimes its a struggle but its something that I couldn’t live without.  I paused for a just a moment and realized something more.  “I thank the man that let her go, because of his mistakes, she came and found me.  She gave my life meaning.”  I saw a tear spring to the man’s eyes and he shut them as if the pain was too great.  I felt great concern for him and voiced it.

He gave me a watery smile, “Your welcome,” He replied.  “She was the best thing that ever happened in my life.  Listening to you makes me realize that I could have been you.  But I didn’t do enough for her, I didn’t give her what she needed.  I let her go and I want you to know that you are lucky.”  He stood and shook my hand and walked away.

I had to sit there for a bit longer and wrap my head around it.

When I came home that night, I pulled her close and hugged her tighter than I have in a while.

We weren’t each other’s first loves but we were definitively proving to be the last love.  We have learned so much from each other.  This was never a walk in the park.  We had to fight to be who we are and learn not to outgrow each other, but grow together.  Treating her like my best friend and remembering that she’s not an extension of me, she is so much more.  Together we bring so much to the relationship.

I don’t know where that gentleman went to, I just know that looking at him I felt his pain and his loss.  Sometimes there’s one person that gets to us, crawls under our skin.  The one person that can correct our life and make it mean so much more.  But if we lose that person, we lose it all, then we’re never the same again.

If he hadn’t made those mistakes, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t know what I was missing.  The kids that we have together wouldn’t have been born and thinking that their bright smiles would never have existed hurts me more.  Not having her in my life makes a sharp pain go through my heart and I know that a life without my family would have made me just like him.

So today I sit here in the other room, listening to her laughter in the other room, the kids screams and giggles and I feel like the luckiest man alive.  I’ll never take this for granted again.

Accelerated Life

He’s strumming his guitar again
Can’t get the chords right tonight
Frustration mars his features
He’s feeling the crowd
Letting loose but there’s a demon behind the scenes
Making his music a little more raw
A little more heartfelt
But the heart is screaming angrily alongside the banging of the drums

Another night of not remembering
Another nameless girl to warm his bed
Another day being pulled and pushed
Show up here, flash a smile, charm the people
Go back into the vehicle with tinted windows
Then let it all drop

You’d think he was a celebrity but he can be you or me
Having to fake for the fans
For the masses
Having to pull out the charm just to make it through another day

Testifying that life is suppose to be a rat race
Success, success, success
Watching your every move
Waiting for you to fail or succeed
No one has time to raise you up

You’re on your own

Each boy has that one girl he will never lose feelings for – I’m that girl for him

Lately I’ve heard you talking about me
Pointing out how I say things
Complimenting me
Seeing the woman I’ve become

I see you staring at me
You’re now more aware of where I am
You move, I move

You keep telling me how good I am for you
How you don’t want to be in a world without me

You’ve been reaching for my hand more
I try not to react but in truth, it means the world to me
To be by your side, not having to chase you to catch up
Or feel like you’re behind me
I like being your equal
For once I feel like the woman I am suppose to be

You’ve been trying harder and I’m loving it
I could fall in love with you
We can go from being just friends

There was a time when you turned back on everything
Because it was too hard to let someone in
You felt like this life, you were leading, was meant to be alone
But you were wrong

You can’t do this life alone
I won’t let you

Everyone needs someone, to cheer them on
Build a home with, even if we’re just renting
Dream with, even shield the nightmares

Give you more hope than you can handle
Be your bright side even when it’s dark
Stand beside you and never give up

Prevailing Love

Being in love with her isn’t easy
Trying so hard to be the man that she needs to me to be
Sometimes I could swear she hates me
Sometimes its hard to conquer this world
When all the odds have been stacked against me since the day I was born

My dad wasn’t there to help me be the man that was needed
No one to teach me what to do
So when she came into my life
I felt like it was going to be easy
Just fall in love with her
But its never easy with her

Her stubborn nature, the way she’d push my buttons
There was always something that triggered her and I
The fights were crazy as hell
We were against each other while trying to save our relationship from all the busy bodies that had an opinion

It was like trying to fend off an army of know it alls
But we survived and to this day she still doesn’t know how much I love her
She doesn’t know what I would sacrifice to be just with her

There are days when I’m still proving to her all that I can be
I would take a bullet for her
She makes my life worth living

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