Posted in Writing

Opposing Guards

He drove through the night, his heart screaming at him
She walked out of that door with her left arm in pain

He wasn’t there at the right time
He never protected her
Never saw her for more than what he could take from her

Now he’s freaking out
Praying that she’s still there

He runs up the stairs, his heart on his sleeve

She opens it only to feel her jaw drop

He’s standing there on her doorstep, drenched
His eyes pleading with her
His hand goes to the back of her neck, he pulls her close
He doesn’t say a word, just kisses her, until they’re both breathing heavily

He doesn’t this to her everytime he’s around
He catches her off guard
He makes her feel everything

He knew he was wrong but as always he skirts around the issue

She pushes him away as he reaches for her again
She puts her hand up and backs into the kitchen
He smirks at her, she glares at him

As he stalks towards her he’s met with a spatula pointing at his chest like sword

He tries to move forward and feel it start to dig into his chest
He puts his hands up and stays right where she wants him

She takes a few deep breaths

Let the battle begin

Posted in Writing

Fighting for….

It feels like my whole life I have been fighting for you
For you to see me
For you to love me

I was looking at the wrong person

I should have been looking within myself

You weren’t supposed to fail me

You were supposed to be everything that was good in this world

I just wanted your arms to wrap around me
Tell me that you were proud of me
Tell me that I was at least doing something right

I was left in the darkness
You led the way on how people are suppose to treat me

You showed me how wrong you were

It feels like my whole life, I’m still discovering me

Posted in Writing

Blank Space

Did you ever miss me?
Did you feel it when I was gone?

Did you ever think about the good times we had
Or did you push me away completely?

Did you ever start composing letters in your head that you wanted to send me
Did you feel anything for me?

Did you ever see new places and think about me
What I would be doing
Didn’t you want me to go see these
Did I mean anything to you

Did I even leave a mark to begin with
Or were you doing just fine without me?

I feel like I don’t even leave a mark on your life

There are no questions
No thoughts

I don’t think you noticed my absence
That screams at me more than you know

Your life meant more to me than you ever knew

Unfortunately we can never go back

Posted in Writing

Short Life

I’m tired of being the broad that everyone wants me to be
There’s a new point to my life
I want to gain back my freedom
I want to fly away
From all the little boxes that everyone that is trying to put me in

I’ll never fit by the way

I’ve got bucket lists
I’ve got ideas that I want to complete
In all honesty I don’t have that much time

I’m tired of being the reliable one
Tired of living the way I’m suppose to be
Everything about me is now screaming outloud

I’ll never fit in
I’ll never be what you want
Not that I wanted to be in the first place

This is me

Living outloud

Posted in Writing

Branded Decisions

Shutting the shutters to the promises of better days
Faced with my decisions
The giving of too many chances makes me sick

Tired of being walked on

Tonight I opened the door to you
My heart couldn’t shut that damn door
In you walk, like you owned this place

I wish I could push you out

You’re brown eyes with the green flicks in them
Has ruined me for anyone else
I don’t want to try with anyone else ever again
I don’t want to put this much effort into someone

You’ve taken all of me
Crushed me, remolded me, branded me

Tired of being walked on

I’ll always being your comfort blanket
I’ll always be the only one that you can hold onto

You’ll always make your own rules
Then you can turn around and break them

You’ve taken all of me,
Crushed me, remolded me, branded me
Left nothing of me

Posted in Writing

Biggest Lesson

I’ve held you to your promises
I’ve tried so hard to believe in you

There were no protectors
There were noone fighting my fights for me

I had to learn to stand on my own
I had to fight for what I wanted
Learn to speak my own words
There was no one treating me like I was fragile
No one giving me the chance to fall into their arms

Everything that I have in my life I had to fight for
Push my way through to defend myself

No empty promises
But I chose to trust you
I chose to believe in you

Every turn I was meant with you not sure
Every sunrise I found myself gazing down at your face

Ready for the next big reveal
For the next hurt that you were going to send my way

I wanted you to love me
I wanted you

You ened up being my biggest lesson
In the end, I became a nobody to you

Posted in Writing

One Night

It comes every year
Sometimes I dread it
Other times I try to be happy
It’s a day that’s either be forgotten
Or just a burden or annoyance
Some have gone even to the extent to get it wrong

But it is still my day
It is still something that I am glad that happened
Even though I’ve heard her regret about me

I shut my eyes and resign myself to go home

He’s gone, its just me and the dogs
I feel my heart hurt
I feel the world to be even lonlier

He calls me telling me to hurry home and get on zoom
I run quickly, he always pulls me out of my sadness
I throw open the door and there he is with a cake lit
The only thing filling this darkened room
The dogs jumping up and down telling me that they’re just as happy as I am that he’s home

His smirk and that raised eyebrow makes the world all better again
His voice singing me happy birthday
Makes my heart sing

I wouldn’t trade my life for anything

Happiness rings in our tiny apartment

Posted in Writing

No Ones

She’s only made for the red sheets in your room
She’s not meant to be brought home
You leave the bills on the dresser as you walk out

She’ll never be more to you than just a fuck

She rises over you, her long hair putting a cloud between the blaring lights
She’s got you on the edge
Her breathy voice has got you all over her
Tugging at her ear with your teeth
Wanting her to breathe the words you want to hear
She pulls back and instead changed the rhythm
Never utters a word

She won’t fall for that shit again

She’s here to make you fall over

She doesn’t want good mornings
She doesn’t want to be kept at home
She never wants to see your back
She doesn’t want to put her heart on the line

She knows your kind
You’re only there long enough to get your kicks

She’ll never be more to you than just a fuck
As you leave money on her bathroom counter

She looks at it and just puts it away with the rest that you’ve left
She’ll never touch it
Cause she’s worth so much more than you give her credit for

Posted in Writing

Ungraceful Lateness

She skids across the tile
Trying to get a hold on her chaotic life
Lateness is what she’s known for
Time is a constant annoyance
Even with a watch on her wrist
She never gets anywhere on time

He’s standing there tapping his foot
As he waits for her arrival

She’s a simple girl
With short hair
Low maintence

Still, somehow she’s always running late
She’d be late to her own funeral
Knowing her ways

He sighs, taps the side of his temple in annoyance
From day 1
She’s been late

She rushes through the crowd, her bag bouncing against her thigh
Her glasses crooked

Rounding the corner, he sees her
A smile spreads across his face

No matter which direction she comes from
He knows where she’s at

His heart starts to beat faster
As he watches her stumble
Never graceful
But regardless, she’s his and he’s hers
As she falls into his arms
He chuckles and leans in for a kiss, his annoyance forgotten

Posted in Writing

Metal Love

The bones rattle
The doors fling open
He wasn’t ready for this fight
He didn’t think he’d piss her off this much

The weather is doing her bidding
She’d rather have a rainy day
The thunder and lightening fits her mood
Her rosemary that’s planted by the garden
Moves with the wind

Her eyes turn gray
As the emotions churn within her

She feels everything
Including the stabbing metal in her back
The only thing he left behind in her

Left her a beautiful mess in her own garden
Empty promises as he ran as fast as he could

His mind going a million miles per minute
Never knowing what to do with a woman like her
His fear overruled his heart
He didn’t think he pissed her off this much

But this is what he gets when a woman falls in love
This is what he gets when he breaks her heart
Failed promises of love

Her eyes turn gray
The stabbing metal pulled slowly from her back

She’s ready for this fight