Posted in Writing

Thin Line, Fighting Hearts

We’re riding in your car
My heart feels light as I wait for his text
I won’t talk to him about the other one or vice versa
I know he’s hanging onto me
But I’ve got someone I’ve got my eye on
He’ll always be a good friend to me
But I want so much more

My phone pings and my heart jumps
My smile can’t hide what I’m feeling
I sense his discomfort but I can’t help myself

He’s calling me baby and giving me all the words I need
I have him drop me off
The worry look on his face breaks my heart
But I’ve got to go down this road
I’ve got to know what’s ahead of me
See what’s there
See what I want to know
He pulls me closer then he strikes
My eyes widen and I can’t get away fast enough
He smirks at me, shoves me out the door and peels out of the parking lot

He changed before my eyes
He’s going to fight and I don’t know how I feelt about him now
But I want to hide as the car comes up

I see his eyes darken as he narrows them on my neck
I’ve got no story, no secrets but the jealousy is riding high

Now I’m caught and they’ve just raised bets
Shit.

Posted in Writing

Full Circled Heart

The heavy footsteps as they rise the coffin high
Their hearts troubled but their touch is sure
There are tears falling down all of their faces
To young and not quite old enough to die
But death has no restraints on age
She comes for who she comes to

The cries escalate
As the coffin is laid into the ground
We are on Earth for so long
Then we are returned back to her
Maybe to live another life
Maybe to go straight to the light

Either way we make it back to where we all started

Living in pain
Or just feeling the darkness
Sometimes you never know
Other times you know
Either way, when my time goes I’ll give her a hug and tell her thank you

She comes and gets us all
But does anyone ever ask her if she’s ok
Does anyone ask her how she lives in this lonely existence

Death has no restraints on age
She comes for who she comes to

Posted in Writing

Itching at Destiny

The sunset wakes her soul
Taken a look around
The old photograph should be burned
The girl in the picture is no longer there
Lost into the souls of the underground
She is no more

The howling at the moon gives her heart a quick beat
Then she howls back
Looking for her alpha
Looking for a wolf to make her days last
No one should go at this alone
No should have to lose themselves to nothing

His ears perk back
Restless as always
Tired of the pack
Tired of the destiny he supposedly has
At his fingers is an itch, he just can’t scratch

His heart beats faster as he hears the howl
His inner beast pushes at him
Wrestling with him
She’s here
She’s his
She’s alive

Posted in Writing

Lighter Fluid

She felt so proud
So happy for what she did
Never in her life did she feel accomplished
She did it on her own
She took another item off her bucket list

But instead you bit her head off
She just walked into the room at the wrong time

You, projected on her
All your fraustrations went straight for her
You didn’t even give her boxing gloves
You bit her down to size
Below you
No one asked her too
No.

She asked herself too
She wanted to learn
She wanted to do something
To take off the load off of you
To contribute
To love
To give

You wanna know what she does in her days
While you are working your ass off?

You wanna know what she does

Everything she said she would
No matter the obstacles she works towards everything
To stand beside you
To be there

She gives just as much as you do

For a moment, you take over her tasks
Instead you lose your temper
Instead you get fraustrated
What do you think she does 10 hours of the day
While you’re gone multiply what she does

So now what about her accomplish
She walked into a lions den
After smiling and feeling so happy
All she wanted to do was share with you
Her accomplishments but instead she walks into accusations and anger

Then you accuse her

So when she turns to you and defends herself
You explode even more
Than want to make up

You just ignited a quiet flame within her

Are you ready?

Posted in Writing

Distant sorries

The dizziness, the blurs come and go

She pushes through
The pages of her life torn and scattered behind her
All the strength she had, she gave to you
She thought you’d use it for good
But instead you use it like a sword to hack her down
You leave scars that just sew themselves up

The hurt you inflict makes her turn to stone
Her distance is never shown
After you come running up to hold her and kiss you

The I’m sorries only go far until they are just words that are overused
The pain that collides
Just leaves love letters in her tears
Painted on the canvas like stars

The dizziness, the blurs, come and go

She pushes through

Forget her dreams
They don’t bring a profit
Forget her tears
They won’t touch your heart

You’re long gone
The love letters left on the floor
Never kept right, not from her

Posted in Writing

Living Sin or Savior

The core of it all
No one understands at all
The ghosts are restless
The haunting hums of singing
Drag the living down

Becoming one of the monsters
Was always a possibility

Breathing in each sin
Every torment again and again

Drives him closer to madness

The saving won’t be done tonight
She’s on her own

He tries to fight it but her name repeats over and over
Like a damn prayer not letting go of his clothes
Her scent surrounds him
Beckoning him to save her
To give her a reason to live
He ignores the danger
Until she’s screaming in his head

He runs through the forest
His heart racing
Praying he’ll get there in time

Monster and man both in agreeance she means the world to him

Pushing himself faster
Until he comes to her corpse
His anger rumbles the world
Shifts the moon and sun
Just to bring her back

But does he succeed?

Posted in Writing

Staying Forever With You

Wash away my looks
You’ll still have my words
Left with you

Dive deeper into who I am
Think I’m no one
But I am so much more that what you see

I won’t let you go with just a premonition
That’s not my way
It’s not written in my DNA

I won’t back down
I am not one to be left at face value

I want so much more from you

I want you to finally see me
Let my words finally be knocking at your heart
Let me in for longer than a moment

My fingers are reaching out to you
Wanting to touch your face
Memorize your face
Let your eyes hold my image
Let my heart touch you like the moon touches the night sky

I won’t back down
I want so much more from you

Let me linger longer than forever

Posted in Writing

Wanting vs Being

You wanted me to be everything that you weren’t
You wanted me to skirt through everything
But I wasn’t anything like you

You pointed out every misstep
Every lost footing
Wanting me to fake like we were a family
When I wasn’t even whole to begin with

You pushed me to say what you wanted me to say
You used me to trap him
But even myself into the roles you wanted

Perfection isn’t in my DNA

You used my age against me
Betrayed the role that you were suppose to use correctly
Console, love and accept
Those are words that are accompanied by so much more

But instead you found me encompassing them
I became what I needed when I was younger
I became so much more than you ever thought I could be

You were never the strong one, I was.

Posted in Writing

Turn to Me

Another night of screams
Another night of him sitting in his car
Fighting back the tears
Holding it in
They call it just being youth

But when you are born as a guy
You don’t know the burden that gets put on them
You don’t know how much everyone expects more from them
With or without a father
Having to fill a role, a place
Whether it’s from the oldest to the youngest
There’s no leeway for those that are born into the family

He’s had bloody knuckles
Fake friends only to turn around and betray him
Trying so hard to be tough
But something the heartbreak is too much

Sometimes you’ve got to reach out
Not be any Superman just be someone who can let it go
Cry it out

But can’t be like that, because no one understands….

I do. I see you. It’ll be ok

Posted in Writing

Praying Wholesome

Saying it like a prayer, repeating your name on her lips

Wishing that you both had met each other earlier
There wouldn’t be so many scars on each other
Bypassing all the pain, all the misunderstandings
Finding each other faster
Seeing love clearer

All the heartache, would be gone
Seeking solace in each other
Would have been a blessing

Apologizing for being born
The other, being used as a scape goat

Wishing for an exit from the cruelty
Finding a way to let it out

Fear ran hard and made one cold
The other tried so hard to make it through
Both just wanting a second chance
To be loved, to be wanted and to have a family

Apologizing for being born
Hearts on the line
Crying for some release
Wanting to feel like they belonged somewhere

Just for a moment to drop the acts and come clean
Find someplace warm to feel whole again