Posted in Writing

‘Tween Waking and Sleeping

Crimson tears stain my dreams again
Asking why I was even born
Why did I curse their existence
Life would have been better without me

Teal eyes seek comfort from the burning sun
I wasn’t made for this heat

My body belongs in the winter cold
The way it feels wrapped around me
Showing I’m alive with each cold breath blown into the space

Lying between waking and nightmares
Screaming but only finding silence
No one can hear my struggle
Everyone thinks I’m sleeping soundly
But they don’t know what goes on behind closed eyes

How far my heart goes
How long before I want to reach out
Stop the hate, stop the pain

I had to love myself
But you don’t know how long it took to come around

Mahagonny eyes find the teal skies
Wishing for so much more than what’s within their reach

Stop the hate, stop the pain

Posted in Writing

Lead Astray, Downfall or Savior

Run against the wind
Hold onto his hand
Beat the heat
Find the way
Never let go

The world is changing again
The strength that is being shown can be all of our downfall
Or our savior

Beat the heat
Love yourself
Find your way

Shield against the hate
The crazy sheeples that are all being led
Find your own way
Don’t fall for the bright colors
Or the pretty words
Hold his hand
Find your reality
Don’t be disconnected like the politicians running this world

Find your way
Hold his hand
Beat the heat

Posted in Writing

Different Skies, Same Hearts

Its late at night here
It’s been a long day
I’ve tried to keep my head up
Fight against the demons in my head

Humming to myself
Hoping with hope everything will be ok
Fighting against my brain
Using my heart
Though I’ve been told I’ve been leading a dreamers life

I’m pushing through this

You’re in a different time zone
Looking at the same sky I’m looking at

You’re calling my phone

I’m running to answer you
Out of breath as I hear your voice, just a simple hello
Brings my heart stammering

Glad I fought against my brain
As you make me laugh again
As you make me forget the painful day

Listening to my heart brought you to me

I’m glad I’m yours

As I close my eyes, just listening you speak
Wishing we could be in the time zone
Missing you as I drift to sleep

….He smiles as he hears soft snoring….
He’s glad that he’s hers

Posted in Writing

The Other Side Of Blogging

He typed out the usual propaganda
The things that he had memorized
Sometimes he would copy and paste
Other times he would just be on autopilot

Until he came across her blog
He didn’t mean to comment on her post
He didn’t mean to leave it under his propaganda blog
But he couldn’t help it, it had been 1am

He left his comp open but logged out

The next morning when he awoke he realized that she wasn’t saved in his personal blog
He freaked out trying to remember what her name was
Only the words stayed with him
He googled frantically trying to find her blog again
He gave up after 4 hours of searching

He’d try again tomorrow

He did his morning routine, flipped on the computer
Trying to forget the haunting words that he wouldn’t be able to find again
Until he realized that his spam blog had her bookmark
He quickly grabbed a paper and a pen, jotted down her name and the blog’s name
He felt his heart rejoice
But then realized he had sent her the stuff, he groaned, thankful that his personal blog was no where associated with this, this was just a way to get a paycheck

He did his job, logged off and got onto his blog
Added her to his reader and began to read from the beginning

Posted in Writing

Whispering Hauntings From Around The World

You arrived too late
I see your arrival in the mirror and I don’t want to turn around to face you

I couldn’t wait for you
I looked for your name in the lights
You ghosted me

You left without a good bye
You were my first contact with how ghosting feels

Now you’re back
You’re arrival has so many happy
But I’d rather be free from your stare
From your hauntings
But above all else, I have to act like everything is ok

But I can do this.

Him :

My eyes can always find her in a crowd and its amazing how she always turns when she feels her eyes on me
I feel like the world can’t tear us apart
No matter where I go she’s right there
A scent in Peru had me running down cobblestone streets to find her
The back of a woman had me selling across seas until I ended up in London
The laughter of another so like hers had me hiking up mountains
Trying to capture a glimpse of her

She had my heart soaring
She was the whispers in my dreams
The knocking of my heart as I went to place to place

She was my world, while I was visiting
And now…..she’s within my reach again

So close

Posted in Writing

Criminal Attack

They sit in her living room, describing the boy she just met
A different side, she was caught in the net
She was pulled away from her innocence
He watches from another building the binoculars trained on her face

His heart wretches as he watches the shadows fleet across her face
He feels like someone came and took his heart out

She sits there listening, she was only in his arms for a few hours
Now those damning hours have these people knocking on her front door

She hears her name and looks into the smiling eyes of the Feds
She shakes her head
She answers their questions truthfully
They leave her with their business card and walk away

She sits down on the sofa in a daze
Then the ringing begins, she looks at her cell phone and realizes its in the coat she wore that night that still has his scent on it

She runs to it to find an unfamiliar phone in it and just for a moment her heart leaps, she knows

She spins to look out the only window she has, “You can see me, can’t you.”

A simple, “Yes.” comes over the line.

“I’m caught in this now because of you, did this go according to your plan.” She hears his voice filled with pain. “No.”

She feels hate, anger and a stranger emotion comes over her.

“Well, now what are you going to do with me?”

She hears him let out a breath, “I don’t know.”

“Click.”

***Inspired by Haou Airen by Mayu Shinjo****

Posted in Writing

Delicate in the Fire

She raises her hand
Delicate and sweet
Is how she was taught to appear to you

But there’s a fire inside her
The disciplined girl, you expect
Isn’t there

Once she’s alone
She turns away from that life

The rules she’s suppose to follow
The things she’s made to do
The woman lost under the obiedient girl
So tired of this facade

Let the girl fade into the woman
Turn the tables around
Find her quietly waiting to get out with the monsters…

Her clothes turn dark, her makeup is smeared
She’s tired of agreeing with the world
When no one bothers to do the same for her

The woman emerges, strong and daring

The way she always wanted to be
She can’t merge the girl to her
Because she still has a role to play but the lines go dead

The woman comes out, no longer fading
No longer quieted
She was meant to live her life outloud
Not barred or chained
Not being made to say what the world needs to say

She’s made of so much more

Posted in Writing

To Early To Be Called Out

Let’s sit
Face each other
Talk about what went wrong
Let’s see where this goes

Over ice cream
My favorite flavors
You rush to go to order
Trying to get on my good side

You feel me, you know me
You know what I like and don’t like
You try your hardest to buy my affection
Showing me how well you know me
Bringing me to all the places I love

Right the wrongs you did

When you draw away from me
Do you know how much I want to push harder to get to you

When you say you’re never angry with me
I know better
You can’t be human and not be mad at me

You’re always trying to bring me closer
Buy my affection
Drag me to the places I love

But what about you?

Do you get enough loving from me?
Do you feel like you’re cherished
All you care about my happiness

But you still need to learn that there has to be 2 sides
Both sides cherished

Don’t sacrifice your happiness
Just because you’re trying to do everything for me

Love doesn’t work that way, honey

So don’t skirt around the subject
Don’t try to appease me
I’m not like everyone else

All I want is just you

Just you

Posted in Writing

Don’t let it be end

So many love stories
So many thoughts

The beginning is always hard
The indecision
The wondering if this person is going to fit in my life
Can I live without them?

Searching for the other half
Wishing there were red strings connecting everyone
Wishing we could see whose the right one for us

It’s so hard to figure out what the ulterior motive is
Do you want Mr. Right Now
Or Mrs. Right

Can they really fit in your life?

Should I take you out of the friendzone

Is there more behind her glasses

Looking someone that’ll bring sunshine to a world
Looking for that one person that will connect
Eyes looking at each other
Holding for a moment
Could there be more?

Rearrange your life
Find a balance

Sometimes opposites attract
Sometimes it doesn’t work

A moment is all it takes whether a relationship starts or not

A moment is all we’ve got

Posted in Writing

Fleeting Time Roundness

The clocks feels like it ticks faster, speeding up time

I feel like Cinderella minus the glass slippers
Running against time
Wishing to grasp it and hold it still
I like these moments I’m living now
I love the present more than ever
I’m no longer trying to push to speed up to the future
The slow moments watching the sun rise
The slow moments of the flowers growing
Learning, loving
I want now to pause

The clocks don’t stop
Neither does the world

Still lost in the barbaric times
Still fighting against
Divided but I stand her
Hoping that what I’m building
Will be the change that we need
Will be able to stop this

The flowers grow, strong and tall
The next generation will be everything we weren’t

…..I hope…..