Posted in Writing

Bodyguard

She’d use her body to shield you from the beatings
She’d fight back for you, even though you don’t deserve it
She’d find a way to redeem your soul
Love you like you needed when you were younger
She’ll fight back when the demons in your head are saying what everyone has always told you
Until her voice is louder than the voices in your head

She’ll be the only one who believes in you
Who’ll keep the candle burning until you’re put back together

She’ll try her hardest to bring you back up
Hold onto you when the lights are off
Fight off your nightmares
While holding your hand so you don’t get lost in the dark

She’ll always be the one cheering you on
Because she’s always loved you

Posted in Writing

Deserving World

The rain is pouring on him
Again, he’s wondering how he got here
He didn’t think he deserved it
He didn’t deserve how she treated him

He sat there letting the tears fall along with the rain
What the hell was she to him?

What on earth could he bring to his world
He was up against tyrants and nosey bitches

What could she do to make his world better?

But every moment that he was away from her
His heart ached, he felt like there was something wrong with him
He needed to get that checked
Because it couldn’t be her
And again his heart beat harder at the thought of her
And again the tears kept falling

He told her not to fall in love with him
But it was him that fell in love with her
It was him that couldn’t imagine her not being in his world
Becaue it had to be her

Posted in Writing

Healing World

She looks through the pictures of us younger, her little eyes wide
She watches everything we do, giggles at our sillyness
She sees something that we never thought we’d see in ourselves

When the world is crumbling and nothings going right
Your arms wrap around me
You’re the one that keeps me strong
You’re the one that keeps me going

When you feel like raging
I’m there trying to calm you down
Bringing you back from the red line
Back to remembering you’re only one person

When I feel like its too much for me
You’re right there beside me holding me as I crumble with tears in my eyes

Days turned into months, then became years
It amazes me that you’re still here
It cures my heart that you’re still holding on
It gives me hope that we’re not the only ones in this world that can have this

All the hell we went through, I’m thankful because it made us stronger

Posted in Writing

Last Chance to be Thankful

Just give me one more moment
This is my chance to write this out
Let me squeeze your heart
Hold you close
Let me forgive you

This is my last chance to write this out
This is my obituary
Because you never knew what was wrong with me, in the first place

I cried on your grave
I said a prayer of thanks
I stood there and took all of your wrath
I still left coins on your grave
I still knew how to show my respect
Be thankful for the time you were there

Grateful for the limited times you let me in
This is my last chance to write this out
Before I see the back of my eyelids
Said a prayer of thanks
Left coins on your grave
Thankful for the time

Posted in Writing

On Their tombstones “Here Lies Thankful Hearts”

She thought she was alone
But you pleaded with her to give you a chance
To let you in
She pushed hard against it

She didn’t want to follow the path of others
They had burned her so much
She was tired of the hurtful games, the beautiful lies, the endless moving her back and forth on a chess board

When she cried she never got an emotional response back
She never knew where she stood with people that were suppose to love her unconditionally

And here you were just a boy yourself, torn and heartbroken
She didn’t know what to do with you but to save you
She tried so hard to push her love for you that was being held in for 2 years aside
But she couldn’t help it, she fell for you all over again

Her last words to me was that she was thankful for finding you …. even though that boy and girl died a long time ago

Posted in Writing

Thankful Pawn

It was a beautiful love it wasn’t suppose to end up this way
There was no way to know how it would turn out
How many people would pull away from this torn in two
Not knowing the causalities that were left behind
Never talking about what was needed
Played it out
Til it was all about you

That’s the thing about words
They can make the most sordid thing sound so beautiful, so bittersweet

Fighting against what happened
Knowing my time of being useful is up
I’d rather gather my wits do what needs to be done

Thankful for being taught how to walk away
Like it’s been done to me
How many times did the door close in my face while tears fell down my young face
Not understanding why he had to go

I knew if I did something right, he’d come back but I didn’t get to see him until I graduated
The looks of surprise on their faces that I even made it that far
No I’m proud of you could be heard just happiness that somehow I had him back for her…never for me

When he left she got so mad
It was my fault, I wasn’t born a boy
I wasn’t anything

Only when I was needed was she grateful

Posted in Writing

Heart Full of Thanks

You fought for her, you put yourself in front of everything
You listen to her thoughts, her fears
She never knows what you’re thinking or what you truly think of her
She feels everything to the depth of her soul
She doesn’t know where she stands with you

You always stand there even when people are trying to shatter you
You’re stone cold, breathless and so strong
Stronger than she can ever be
You laugh, make me pause, tell me that’s not true

You speak about her with wonder in your voice
When I mention a time without her here,
A moment where she won’t be by you to wake up next to
Your eyes water, you voice cracks and you ask me never to speak of that time

You always stand there even when people are trying to shatter you
But she’s your weakness, breathless and strong until you mention her name

Your heart is full of thanks for the girl that came to you in your darkest time

Posted in Writing

Music Appreciation

Feel her sweet curves
Let the world drop away
Let’s end this week with a better thankful

Let’s take a moment to toast the beer gods
As the wine flows and the tequila comes to even wake up the dead

Let’s find a way to rise our spirits as the holidays stress come along
Let the demons dance alongside with a shot in each hand
Let it all go
There’s no fixing the problems tonight

Instead, let your body move to the beat
Let it all go as you find your groove tonight

Nothing else you can do

Just let it go tonight
Be thankful of the music


Posted in Writing

Taking Away the Pain

Baby, it has been a rough day
The demons keep coming towards me
No sword or gun can stop them
Their whispers and horrible nightmares
Won’t stop
What do I do, baby?
My heart hurts

One look from you
Put me back on the same path from you
One smile, brings my life back to you
Its like you’re breathing life into my soul
Keeping me close to you
Rising me up
Helping me to stay focused
There’s everything I need

At this moment

Posted in Writing

Living Thanks

Being thankful for things that aren’t there, is really hard
Searching for little moments that were promised to you, is hard too

Trying to reflect and find gratefulness for the things no one did
But pretending to be a perfect little family
We put the fun in dysfunctional

Then when you grow and you realize it was all a lie
No one really cared for you, that’s when the pieces fall apart

She struggled for so long under the coaching in the ear
The telling what to say and what to do
While hiding under a bed as the screams came through her bedroom

Sat a table in a room where dinner is quiet and tense
Here comes the war, if the meal isn’t made on time
If a song is sang, no patience for the child sitting there
Then why have one in the first place?

Can’t stand the memories
Losing her way away from the thankful and gratefulness
So many memories, so many questions

When the holidays came around that’s when it went worst
Happiness was fleeting and separate ways would happen under the twinkling lights or after a dance recital

But she got the best of you, where you no longer lose your temper

Thank you for improving for someone else
Thank you for always saying you loved … oh wait that was meant for someone else

There’re no tears, no anger
Just acceptance until one
Enough is Enough

You might sit there and not understand where it came from
You might be relieved, never got a phone call from you anyway

Thank you for being you