Posted in Writing

Facing It

I needed to make space
Walk away from this for a moment
I wanted to write about us
But I needed some time
I needed to face what I was seeing
Learn to let go
What will never be
Figure out where I stood
Find my place
Because this world is crashing in on me again

Everyone has a say where I’m suppose to be going
Where I’m suppose to be
I’ve got dates, times and places to be
But all I want to do is hide my heart away
Put my face in a pillow and scream
Run away from all of these expectations
I can’t hack it in the toxic’s face
I can’t survive with all the air escaping from my body
As you try to fit me in your little box

You’ve got these plans for us
But I want so much more
But the realist knows this isn’t going to work
Knows that where we stand, this world will be against us

I want to hide my heart away
I want to learn to let it go
Run away from the expectations

Overcome this, be so much more
But I feel like we can’t conquer any of this

Until we make our own wings…..

Posted in Writing

Reminder to the Masses

Its a crazy world that we’re living in

Nothing is ever appreciated

Everyone is in a rush to get from point a to point b
Everything is on a time constraint
Sometimes no one knows if they’re coming or going

Be kind is a forgotten phrase

So why don’t you try a little

Take a challenge

Say Please and thank you
If someone let’s you go in front of you when they’re traveling it takes five seconds to lift your hand in a wave of acknowledgement and thanks

Use your blinker because no one can read your mind

Say excuse me if you’re in the grocery store if you pass by someone too closely
Hold open for doors for people and hold it if you know someone is coming up behind you
Don’t forget to say your welcome

Even if people don’t acknowledge back be the change in a world that’s losing contact

Think of other ways to show respect, kindness
Stop being rude, stop being an ass

Because there are little eyes that are watching you
If you don’t care, then I feel sorry for you
But it’s never too late to be the change

Be kind

Posted in Writing

Simple Fairy Tails and Happily Ever Afters

Bring back the simplicity, the way it all began
Our life like a melody coming full circle
Now she looks at us with questions
We smile at each other and laugh

So much to tell her but where do we start?

Bring back the simplicity
She starts asking questions but wants us to start with Once upon a time

She giggles as she gets comfortable

Expecting knights and princesses
But instead she gets two kids that met long before they were suppose to
Two kids that came back to the same little town
Never knowing that they were meant to be

Knowing each other for 27 years, her eyes go wide
Knowing that two people were suppose to be
Its mind blowing even to us
She giggles as we finish the story
I see her eyes glaze over
Did we embellish too much? lol

Posted in Writing

Leaving Hearts

I’ll be the one that can let you go even though I’m holding back the tears
I’ll be the better person when you look at me and tell me that you don’t want to be with me anymore
When you look at me and tell me that you don’t love me anymore
I’ll hold the crazy bitch back
You’re not the first man to leave me and you won’t be the last

I’ll be ok
I can watch you fly
I never want someone forcing themselves to stay in my life
I’ve had too many fake loves that should have flown away a long time ago

I’ll be the one that won’t hold on
If you feel the need to fly away
Go right ahead

I’ll fight my heart to watch you go
I’ll keep the fire inside
You’re not the first man to leave me and you won’t be the last
I’m only stronger this time around because I’ve learned

I’d rather be told that I’m not wanted
Then have someone forced to stay in my life

I’d rather be loved then resented
If you weren’t man enough to be in my life then you weren’t the one for me

So go, move on, I won’t hold you to me
Because you were never mine to begin with
I never owned anyone
Not about to start today

Posted in Writing

I’ve been told how great I am on the inside
I’ve been told how wonderful I am to others when they need me
But you’re the first to look at me and say I’m beautiful
After years of being told how ugly I was
To find someone who sees more than what’s on the surface
Who doesn’t want anything from me
You saved me
I heard you tell her that I saved you
But you saved me from a world of nothingness

There was nothing that would call to me, like you have called to me
There was a world that didn’t have much to offer until you came back into my life again

I feel sorry for the younger me, she missed out on so much because she didn’t know that her soulmate was right in front of her

I wish I could go back and tell her that you were there all along
I wish I could give her a warning that day in the parking lot when she saw a boy against many, his fists up, that dertermined look on his face

Never would have known that memory would be freezed framed in my mind

What an impression that boy had made
Never knowing that story would be shared
Never knowing what we would become

Posted in Writing

Morning Baby

Good morning baby
Do you want some coffee
Would you like a kiss before you leave

Good morning baby
Do you need someone to talk to?

Do you want me by your side
Do you see me even as you’re rushing off to work

Do you hear my voice as you’re being called on
Do you miss me
Do you think of me as you’re conquering this world

I sit in front of my easel
Your face is on my canvas
My heart beats as I draw that pensive look you always have
My hands reach out to touch your hair

I see you in my dreams and you’re haunting my waking moments
Where do we go from here?

What do you want from me?

Every question that runs through when something new starts
Needing labels and thoughts, wondering if you’re thinking of me like I’m thinking of you
Trying to find a way to each other
Trying new ways to see how we’re going to fit in each others life

But right now, my phone is ringing and a smile touches my lips as your name flashes across the screen

We’ll figure it out as we go along

Posted in Writing

Chasing Sun Nights

The night falls and things start to change between us

I see the way you look at me as silence descends this busy house
You come closer to me, making my breath catch
Holding me close in a world where touch is now against the law

We breathe in each others calm,
Finding the one thing we’re missing
Chasing down the sunrise
Enjoying the little time we have before we have to come back to reality

Persuading me when the sun hits our room to stay
But you know I can’t
We both have lives to lead
Things to do
Running alongside the daylight hours

Wait for me, I breathe against your skin

But I won’t hold it against you if you don’t

We part ways from the door
Down the steps into the real world

Both at others beck and calls
Both at opposite ends of the world
Both busy as hell

But when that sun sets maybe we’ll see each other

Posted in Writing

Shush the TV

Today, I’m beyond exhausted

I can’t keep up the positivity
Today, I can’t keep up the smiles that you’re expecting to see
My heart is heavy
I’m trying to keep going at both ends
Trying so hard to hang in there

Today is a good reason to stay in bed
But I can’t

The words are on repeat
My eyes just want to close
Shut out the news scrolling across the tv
Quiet the arguments
It’s brother against brother

Families are drawing the line

I’m so tired of the divide

I just want some peace and quiet today
Some time to myself away from all the chaos
The debates will still be there
There’s always going to be someone offended
Right now, I could care less about whose side is better
I just want one reason why
I just want someone who knows about the people that are living from paycheck to paycheck

I’m just so tired

Posted in Writing

Saving Darkness

You loved me against all odds
They were all stacked against us

That night when you discovered my biggest fear
You didn’t laugh at my face as others before you have

Instead you pulled me closer, held me through the night
Until the light shined through that window and kept my nightmares at bay
Every time there’s an open closet you shut it
You fight my demons for me
You hold me close
You kiss the breath back into me

But then it happened, nothing stays perfect forever

You showed me the beast that lied dormant inside of you
You barred your fangs
You let the anger come out
You showed me the pain that you tried to hide
You used me as your escape until you couldn’t hide it anymore

You waited for me to hide, to run
But I stood in the face of your darkness
You tried to push me away
You tried to save me from yourself
But you didn’t realize that we needed each other

Two kids from the same side of the coin
We both knew more than anyone how it felt to be the black sheep
To not be wanted from the get go
Only to be used as a pawn

No one else was going to save us
No one else was going to come through for us
But we would be what we needed when we were younger
We would heal the shit that we went through

We would conquer the darkness, together

Posted in Writing

Different Script, please

How do you rewrite a script that was taught to you?

How do you fight the voices in your head?

How do you conquer the demons?

How do you survive day in and day out?

I wanted so much more
So I tried to reach the stars
I wanted to be much more than what anyone expected of me
I wanted to touch just one star
I wanted the world to see me
I wanted them to see how I see life
Just one canvas I wanted the world to see

I’ve tried so hard to rewrite the script that you put in my head
I’ve tried so hard to fight against the damage you instilled in me
I’ve tried so hard to rewrite the voices in my head

I am good enough
I am worthy to love

You were wrong

I will never be what you wanted to be
I will never let myself fail

You hate the fact that I’m the way I am

You hate the way I speak with no filter in place
I chose to be this way because you wanted me to be a certain way
Dress a certain way
Speak a certain way
Not to feel
Not to express how I felt
You were wrong

I would rather go to your idea of hell

I would rather be punished by your God
Then not be myself
I would rather fight for voice to be heard
To hold that paintbrush in my hand
Then to let you conquer me

This is how I fight the voices in my head
This is how rewrite the script that was taught by you
This is how I fight my demons
This is how I survive day in, day out

Defying your ways every step of the way