Posted in Writing

Last Angel Standing

It’s her destiny to conquer, to win
She battles against them
She’s an expert
A girl whose got her eyes on a goal

She’s a girl that never had anyone in her corner
Everyone told her the prophecy
The one where she’s suppose to conquer everything
But there’s so many obstacles, oppositions

How can she succeed when she’s all alone
Never fitting in with the masses

Her shyness is a hinder to many

It only take one person to see past her armor
Reaches out to help her hold her weapon
Look deep into her eyes
See the girl behind all that knowledge
The smartass within

She’s got a fight on her hands
But sometimes all it takes is one person to believe in her
To root for her
She’s got the keys to unlock all these doors
She’s got her head on her shoulders
She’s not one to give up
She’s not one to turn around and run away

She’ll stand her ground
Fight til the end
And when the music stops
The world stops destroying itself

She’ll be the one standing there
Still fighting, still hanging on

Because that’s the girl that I raised

Posted in Writing

Wasn’t Suppose to be Here

Let me raise my voice
Let the music crescendo around me
Until the ideas come out

Let me sit here and offend you
All because I have no filter
The headphones in my head
Blaring music
Reminding me that this world hates me
All because I won’t fit into their perfect mold

That moment where I get a confession
That she wishes I was never born
If she had the chance she would take me out
I didn’t prove to be a useful pawn

I keep messing up everyones plan

I wasn’t suppose to come into his life
I wasn’t suppose to be born
If I didn’t then he could have been left pining
If I wasn’t here, would anyone had tried to save him?

I got yelled out because I was suppose to be someone elses soulmate
That there was a chance that I could have changed someone elses life
But instead I stumbled into his life
Pushed against him
Our eyes met on that September day
His life became entangled with mine
That rainy day changed everything for both of us

So while she’s sitting there on the other side wishing I wasn’t here
He’s over her touching my cheek, looking at me in a way no other man has ever tried to look at me
He sees me
He whispers to me how beautiful I am
And in that moment all her hateful words and confessions fade away

In that moment he erases the tears that are falling with one kiss
I’m swept away from this pain

Posted in Writing

Smokey Clear

I searched so long for somewhere to belong
I thought I found it, I was wrong

All the words
All those feelings
Never meant the same thing to those that surrounded me

I still felt lonely
I still felt out of place
I wasn’t wanted and needed
I was told how wrong I was

Everything changed
When I went against the grain
I lost everything
But it was my own making

My own undoing
It was easy to cast me away
It was easy to chose a different life
To start over and leave it all behind

No one could give me a reason
Why it all went down the way it did
No one could give me the answers I was seeking

All I got were lies and half truths
That later came clean from others mouths

That showed me where I stood all along

We could never be put back together again
We could never be what was

Why it all went down the way it did
Was never in my control

But how I reacted, what I had to do
The ball was in my court
I took it, rebuilt from it
Moved on

Posted in Writing

Protecting Happiness

He carries it with him everywhere
That gun with his name on it
The bullet has one name on it
He’s got his heart put away in a box that was given to me
He’s got this tough side
This way about him
But when he gets home
His arms find their way around my waist
He pulls me close and inhales me
Like its his last dying breath

We hear a little giggle behind us
And he pulls away but not before I see the smile on his face

He’s everything that I need
Everything that I want

Too many times the world tried to tear us apart
And evidently, they’re not done yet

But we’ve got so much more we’re fighting for
Protecting, loving each day

He’s carrying that gun with that one bullet
Ready to defend
Ready to put that bullet through that one person
The one who deserves all the hell they tried to inflict on us

You think I would lie down at your feet
You thought I would be done
You picked on the wrong girl
On the wrong family

Posted in Writing

Decreasing Hurt

You almost won
I would have layed down and let you step all over me

But I remembered how hard I had fought to be who I am today
I remembered what I had to go through

All the times you called me overdramatic
All the times you called me too sensitive
All the can’ts that you told me I couldn’t do
All the times I tried so hard to please you

I won’t fall for it anymore

I won’t let the next generation grow up in that torment

If I could do it all over again
I would have taken him away sooner
I would have saved his life before you drowned him
Before you had the chance to hurt the boy that needed you

I would never have left him to your clutches

You ruined the boy that he could have been
But I saved the man that he became

Everytime now when someone puts him down
I stand up for him
Everytime I feel like he’s slipping back into that black abyss
I’m pulling him back up
Everytime he’s drowning in the lies that you put in his head
I’m reminding him right where he needs to be

He will never be the man you thought he was going to turn out to be

He’s so much more

Posted in Writing

Giving Up

Trying to find the words to say how I feel
I’ve done cried
I’ve done lost my shit

Everyones so busy trying to read too much into my words
I almost didn’t post anything today

My heart is torn to shreds
My birth was cursed
My life was torn to shreds like Cinderella’s dress

I’m living in the shadows of too many lives
All of them taking my words and making them their own

My vest is riddled with bullet holes
From all the bad mouthing I’ve heard
To all the lies spread
I’m just sitting here with my head between my knees
But it can never be about me
When there’s a self absorbed world

I cringe away from the whiners
The depressions, the all about me

I’ve heard enough and now I’ve said too much

Posted in Writing

Disconnected Notifications

Another year, another day
The only reminder is facebook chiming everyones notifications

People chiming in, posts going wild
A day to be celebrated

But sometimes I just want to pull away from the electronics
Pull away from the “wall”
Everyone is behind a screen
No one can touch or feel
We’re all plugged in

This life gets harder
The futuristic promises that it would be better once we had screens attached to our every being, was a lie

The disconnection is happening to humanity
The distance between touch and reality are escalating

Escape into the nethers, fight against the dungeons
The days are shorter only because the time in the corner of this monitor is flying

We’re connected at every turn but losing contact
The information center is rising but there’s a an expert on everything
Everyone has something to say but whose truly listening?
Or are we all just listening to reply?

Turn up the music and let it flow
Turn down the trolls
Let this world rest from the harshness

Shut off the screen
Just fade into the darkness

Posted in Writing

Towered Loneliness

Karma came to sit next to me
“Girl, I’ve got a story for you.”

I tried to turn away from her
She grabbed my arm
Her smile, a sneer
“No, you’ve got to hear this.”

There once was a boy, who thought he was a man
Thought he had the world at his fingertips
Never confessed to his sins
Never thought that he would be touched by the fates

Because he made his own fortune
He began to curse the Gods
Thinking he was one himself
What a moron

He brought up an empire
He built it on his reputation
He thought the world owed him
And when he was committed at the highest esteem

It began to crumble
He was falling down with his own Rome

All the people he burned, all the people he stepped on to get to where he was going, threw the stones, the axes, torched his place down
Like a toddler, he began to wail and cry
He began to blame it on everyone else
When it was his own fault
When it was his own making
Because he forgot to love
He forgot not to squish those that were rooting for him

He lost everything because he thought the world owed him
Not once did he reach out a helping hand

The golden child lost it all because he forgot the ones that got him there

When his tower tumbled down
When he rose from the rubble
There was no phoenix swooping down to save him
He only saw what he didn’t have
His empty hands filled with nothingness
His life showed no true love
No girl standing next to him
Because he burned every bridge behind him
His past, he couldn’t erase with money
His love, no where to be found because he had manipulated every relationship until they left him
How can you stand beside someone when you don’t even know the real face you’re facing each morning
Having to stay on your toes to make sure you don’t break his precious glass

Every move, every manipulative game he did

All he faces now is loneliness

Was it worth it?

Posted in Writing

End of the Rounds

Gotta remind myself again today
All I’m missing right now was what use to be
The dancing in the kitchen
The girls giggling together

Our hearts had to reset
Our hearts had to chose different paths

Anger no longer controls the impulses
I could never fit in their world
I got tired of trying

All the secrets you left with me, I still keep
Not one word has been uttered
Even though you forgot how much shit I have on you
My loyalty over runs the hurt you inflicted

You were trying so hard to fit into his mold
I got tired of watching him step all over you

When that clock struck midnight
And all of you put an insane doubt between us
As we were up fighting, while a little girl sat there crying
I knew that was the end of that game
No more playing into your hands

When no one answered the phone
When no family came to save the innocent lives that you thrusted into the middle of your made up war
I knew then that we would have to build in silence

I knew then it all to break apart
When that clock struck midnight
The fighting stopped and we saw the truth
It was us against the world
Not us against each other
No longer would anyone have the upper hand over us, ever again

You lost this round

Posted in Writing

Lost Questions

Like the love letters you wrote me
I should let it burn
Your dream became my dream
But you never succeeded them
You left before you could breathe in the LA air
You lost track of yourself

You got lost in the folds of the women parading past you
You never answered my questions
You became like Peter in Neverland

Never changing
Never coming around
Flying high for another rush, on an another adventure

You lost track of time until you touched land
Your eyes shone the stars, the itching feet to move on to something else

You never answered my questions
You joined the ranks of the lost boys
Never changing
Never coming around
Flying high for another rush

You lost me, you lost me
In another time maybe we’ll see each other again
Maybe not