Posted in Writing

Painted Freedom

Its been awhile since I’ve let it go
Raised my leg high
Let the music flow through me
Spin around and let the beat go through me

My hips move back and forth
My hands start moving on their own
Flowing with the music

The song pours out of me
I find my voice rising
I like this feeling of being able to sing

No one to judge me
No one to frown upon my actions

Next I grab a paint brush
I stare at a blank canvas
All the words tread on my conscience

Don’t do it
You can’t

I shut my eyes, push away all the words that were told to me

I need to do this, I try to conquer over all the can’ts

I stare at this blank page and my fingers want to type

I know I shouldn’t listen to the voices in my head
I know I can do this
I know I can do all of this

but I also know if they knew what I was doing
If they saw the joy of what I’m doing

I would still get the unapproving looks
The why are you doing this

But above all I’ve wanted to paint
I’ve wanted to type
I’ve wanted to dance and sing

All the things that are considered mistakes
All the things that I shouldn’t do

I let out my creativity , differently
I was the party girl
I was the lost soul
I didn’t’ take the chances that I should have
Instead I was rebelling
I hurt myself more than I hurt them

I didn’t go after my dreams
I didn’t try
I needed to be someone that they wanted to be
What they considered successful

But that wasn’t me
That wasn’t what I wanted

Now I’m taking the chance
Its not to late for me

This life isn’t going to be filled with regrets
This life is going to be exactly what I want it to be

I will dance, sing and laugh out loud
I will paint and write to my hearts content

I will make mistakes
I will dance in the rain and live my loud and proud

I won’t let them hold me back anymore

I’m not needing to be beneficial to everyone

There are things I want to do
I will hold that paintbrush in my head and I will paint what my mind sees
the projects are running in my head
Its been too long
I need to find myself and let her run free

I want to do so much with my life
And I’ve got so little time to do it all
But I will succeed
Because I was made to live, to sing, to dance, to write to paint

I want to throw my arms open and try this thing called living

I’m fighting so hard to be me
Fighting against these words you’ve instilled in me
I won’t be what you want me to be
I want to find that girl that’s clawing her way out
The one who wants to breathe in the arts


"My personality is basically a mix between a needy 5 year old, a rebellious teenager making bad life choices and a 80 year old woman whose tired and needs a nap." - Luna @bpdNymph I love so hard because I know how it feels to be loved so little Labels : : Gamer, Yarn Artist, DM, Hopeful Romantic

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