Posted in Writing

Going Blind

Guide me to your light

Find me a way out of this darkness

The colors are fading away

Little by little everything begins to blur

The tears I cry I can feel deep to my soul

I’m finding myself running my hands over familiar faces

Just to commit it all to memory

Wishing I could find a way past this darkness

My eyes are turning from brown to silver
My tears are still running as the rainbows fade

Counting the steps I take
The stairs that use to be easy
The walks that I took for granted
The scenery that I could see clearly
Are beginning to fade
My fear falls coupling with the darkness that’s descending into me

The leaves are changing and so am I

Now I must decide how much longer I can fake this charade
Trying to pretend to be normal
Never suited me anyway

Fade into darkness
Turn away from the colors
Stir the blackness
Fade into nothing

Posted in Writing

Settling

My heart hopes you don’t recognize me

I hope that you never see my words
Because I don’t want to face you

You never knew much about me anyway
So I know in a lot of ways this goes in vain

The worst of it is that you’ll never know me

Even if you read my words you’d never know it was me

You never paid much attention to me
You never thought much me

In this moment my heart holds no evidence to your “love”

In order to be someone in your world I would have to leave a footprint on your heart

Yours is hidden behind glass
Locked away from the masses
Or maybe just from me

So these words that I type you’ll never see
You’ll never know

In the end, all of this
I’m really ok with

Posted in Writing

Game Time

What did you want with me?
What on Earth did you think you were doing?

Was I just a toy to you?

Someone that you could play with til  your time was up?

I’ve thought about you over the years and I never understood what you were doing with me

You caught me, I didn’t mean to fall for you
But I did

You wanted to see me one last time
But I couldn’t stand to be in the same place as you
You tagged me along and without a word
Snuffed me out

The music you played, the way you were
Are ingrained in my head
The words you would say to me
Trapped me
I thought you were going to be someone to me
But I ended up showing off my naivety
And you took me along for the ride
I never forgot you
I wish I could because when I think back on you
I feel embarrassed
I should have known better
I should have never tried to live in your world

You were so  much more than my small self could handle

You were a player

But it was your last go and you moved on

Posted in Writing

Slipping Memory

Our eyes met, you saw my life slip away and your hand reached out to me.

We met once before, I want to tell you but the words don’t come

I’m no one, no one’s going to remember me

No one’s going to see me but I feel happy because at least you saw me

At least someone will remember me

My heart has bled many times over

Invisible in this busy world

Just another face in a sea of people

But at least you saw me

My words can be my memory

My tone can be heard through your head

My beauty can be kept in your head

My heart can be kept safe by you

You, made me be somebody

You, remember me

My tears weren’t in vain

My life is still held by you cradled by that red line that now connects us

Now I can let go

Thank you for seeing me

Posted in Writing

Nonchalance

Numbers passing by

Day in, day out

Parts to play

Things to deal with

Don’t fight

Don’t lose your temper

Be this way, be that

No one needs you

Don’t call us, we’ll call you

Please can I run away from the users, the addicts, the wanna be’s

I want to be a rebel, a renegade

Not forced to fit in

Not having to be another robot running alongside what everyone wants us to be

Just a little break from the bitching, the snowflakes, & the labels

Give me some peace from all this shit

Gotta be strong, keep fighting

But today I don’t want to fight

I just want to be an ordinary girl, with headphones in my ears, listening to my music

No one’s friend, no one’s lover

Just. Me.

Posted in Writing

Grim’s Time Lost

There’s a price to pay for being with me

You lose everything

You have to pay the grim reaper a toll

To stand beside me you need to be someone that I can be proud of

Being with me, takes work

No pity parties here, I ain’t got time for that shit

I’ve got things to do, always paying constant attention

I’m not a girl that wants your money or your trinkets

I want loyalty, trust, respect

I ain’t got time for games

So if you’re not in it for the long run stop by the grim reaper and get your refund

I’ve been the woman whose watched other sacrificed themselves in the name of love and I won’t go down that road

Lipsstick left on the collar I’ve seen where that road went

The fights at midnight with kitchen knives I’ve felt those tears to my core

The pain of never knowing where he’ll turn up I’ve seen the battle scars

None of them my own

None of them my business but I saw it all.

Posted in Writing

Contradiction Secrets of a girl

There are secrets that you don’t know about her
There are things she doesn’t talk about

You think you know her but she’s got a side to her that’s lethal

She’s been through hell and back
She’s got things about her that you’ll never know

Her secrets keep her safe

She’s navigating through the maze
Only to come out stronger

She could lead you to Atlantis
She’d take you away in a heartbeat if she thought you weren’t there with pure intentions

She can tell just by looking at someone whether they’ll be good for her
Or bring down hell if they’re there to torment her

She’s got her own devils on her shoulder, she’ll tell you straight up she doesn’t need anymore

She thought she found heaven once, she’ll tell you with sadness in her voice
But he betrayed her and made her plummet to Earth with her wings ripped and her heart laid on the grass beside her

But in the next minute she’ll shine the sweetest smile
Tell you about all the beautiful things that she’s seen
You’ll be so dazzled that you’ll forget that she was ever hurt

She’s beauty and perfection

She’s happiness and heaven

Until you mention his name then the storms roll in and you’ll regret you ever laid eyes on her

Posted in Writing

Yesterday’s Dance

Her hair is drenched
Her limbs are moving faster as the beat increases
She feels it inside of her
She missed this moment

The feel and pull as the music surrounds her
The lyrics speaking to her soul

She never lost her love for dance
She couldn’t speak what she wanted to say
But every movement of the rhythm makes her move faster, harder

She’s got the power within her
With each spin, each kick, each movement
She draws you in until you feel her anguish, her love and her very soul pulsating with the music
It doesn’t have to be in a language you have to understand
You just have to feel it with your heart

She’s pushing harder against this thing called life but she’s not giving up

Her sanity, her relief is right here in the music

She feels it straight to the core

All the can’ts, won’ts
All the you’re not worth it
All the negativity that she’s waddling through fades as she beats her feet against the floor and spins into her own happiness

Posted in Writing

Heart’s Photograph

Your eyes pierce my soul
I found your picture by accident
My heart drops as I stare into yours
Complete strangers but I can help but let out a sigh

You’re the youth of the nation
You’re filled with wonder and freedom
Seeking your way into this world
My heart skips a beat as I stare at you

You paint words with my soul
You speak to me through your writing
You reach out to me against the loud noise of this world

You’re someone that I could come to love
You’re someone that I could come to adore

I fell in love with your picture

But I fell harder with who you are

You swept me up in the tide of love
Your passion brings me out of my stupor
Your words bring out the dead woman
No longer frozen in time

It all began with that damn picture

Two people separated by time and space

Posted in Writing

Calling for a Hero in the 21st Century

The nameless you
The faceless you
Trying to find somewhere to blame

Point your fingers at the gun that’s sitting on the table in front of me

Rage a war against an object that has no power til its put into someones hands
Rage a war about how it kills people but if I held it in front of you
Would you be dead?
No, because that is not my intent
But if you try to harm me and mine then we’re talking about something else

You want to rage war against my video games
Say that they make me violent
The only things that make me violent are when people attack the things that bring me sanity in an insane world
Grammar gone wrong
Stupidity rearing its ugly head
Ignorance
Rudeness
Bullying
Those make me violent

You sit there behind your mahogany desks pushing out laws and trying to impose on me
They don’t know how it feels to live from paycheck to paycheck
They don’t represent me as they get their healthcare taken care of
Hiding behind bodyguards
Never eating expired food
Struggling to pay the bills
Choosing between food and rent
Pointing the blame at the things that I love
Trying to censer the few things that I can touch
Until the name of freedom

This world has lost its fucking mind

Black, White, Hispanic, Asian
It doesn’t matter, when we all look in the mirror

Bullets can still pierce skin
We all still cry when we lose a loved one
We’re not isolated from cancer, sickness or hate

We’re all striving to live in this world
Not one life is more important than another

Stop attacking each other and pull together like we did when 9/11 hit

When we stand together nothing can stop us

If you want to be divided then you’re letting these politicians with all the money and power win

What do you chose in this war?

I chose to put my fingers away
Because they’re still pointing back at me and use kindness more