Posted in Writing

Valentines Time

The first valentines was a disaster
You showed up late
It was all about you
We broke up and I refused to answer your phone calls …..

The second Valentine’s was a lot better
You were on my door step with flowers
Two years together and here you were
Staring at me like you never saw me before

The thrird valentines was a amazing , we had just gotten married
You were so handsome as you took me star gazing and held me close under the stars

the fourth Valentines was painful
We had just lost our first child
We held each other close as we cried our hearts out

the fifth valentines was wonderful
My round belly was being kissed by you as we laied on our pallet on the floor in front of the tv just you and me and a little baby kicking away inside of me

the sixth valentines we were exhausted
You were pacing back and forth trying to calm him while I went and made a bottle
We looked at each other so tired but happy
We were finally a family of 3

The seventh valentines, he was didn’t feel well so we cancelled our plans
We stayed home that night and cuddled with him, watching disney movies and holding hands

the eighth valentines, you wouldn’t look at me, you were too busy with your job
You forgot and I cried and you stood there with your hands clenched and fraustrated

The ninth valentines, I forgot all about it, we fought and yelled
But then in the middle of it I had to run to the bathroom
We both froze as we came to the realization, we were expecting again

The tenth valentines, there were giggles and laughter, we looked over the four year old and the baby in your lap and we found our nitch

The eleventh valentines, a double date, they started arguing in the middle of it, we looked at each other, made excuses and went walking along the river, just holding hands, then heading home to pay the baby sitter and look in on the kids

The twelfth valentines, we had another baby on the way, struggling but still looking at each other with love, we chose to stay in, take care of the two kids, no energy or money to go anywhere and we were just happy with that

The thirteenth valentines, there were screams going through the house, trying not to put headphones in and ignore it all.  Baths were being done and then we collapsed onto the couch, got all three kids to bed, just having a 20 minute moment of silence, still holding hands as we drift off to sleep

The fourteenth valentines, you show up with a horse drawn carriage, the baby sitter behind me gasps as we see it pull up, I have to do a double take as you smile at me.  We wine and dine but in the end we both admit we’d rather be at home with the kids then stay out til dawn’s light

The fifteenth valentines, I make a home cooked meal, our moms have the kids and the dog.  The house is quiet and we just cuddle on the couch and talk about us and where we’re going, where we’ve been and in that quiet moment I fall in love with you all over again

The sixteenth valentines, we go camping with all 3 kids and the dog.  Everyone called us crazy but it was a great weekend, we fought, we laughed, we sank the boat and got caught in a rainstorm and drove home still holding hands and mosquito bites on our legs

The seventeenth valentines, your eyes tear up as the 2 oldest go to a valentines day dance and we’re stuck at home with the youngest.  The protective daddy comes out and I giggle.  We have ice cream and hold hands while the youngest drive us crazy at ten o’clock the kids come home.  I see you let out a sigh of relief, to us they will always be our babies

The eighteenth valentines, its father vs son.  The war rages on with him slamming the door and you losing your temper.  As you rage about how stubborn he is I get a text that he’s safe at his grandma’s.  You left moments later, without a word and I send you a text telling you where he is.  The door swings open 30 minutes later and relief crosses my heart as you and him walk through the door, both sullen but there’s still hope as he looks at you and you look at him

The nineteenth valentines, he brings home a girl, you look at me and I let out a sigh.  They go out for the dance with a little longer curfew since they’re with chaperones.  The other two are fast asleep and we look at each other, no longer the kids we were, older with wrinkles starting to come in but then you smile at me and I see the boy I fell in love with.  We end the night with cuddles and I love yous

The twentieth valentines, we leave the kids at the parents and go out for a overnighter and we feel like kids again.  We fall in love with each other all over again.

Posted in Writing

Starlight Shine

Do you see me?

Are you finally looking my way?

Have I impressed you yet?

The spotlight is shining and I’m still here fighting

Does that suprise you?

I’ve got so much more to give to this world

Though I’m short on time

I’m always going to wish you the best
I’m always going to be right there behind you
Even though you’ve cut me down
Even though you thought I wouldn’t make the cut
I’m still going to be the better person
Cheering you on, wishing you the best

Because that’s who I am

I won’t cause a riot
I won’t be petty
I won’t be jealous

I’ve been there before and I’m not going back

I’m so much more
You just lost your chance to see it all
That’s ok
Because now you see my light

Its not going dim anytime soon, so get some sunglasses

I’m still here

Posted in Story

Rushed Interaction

He dropped it with a smirk, knowing what was about transpire
He sent a little prayer for things to go his way
He sent a wink to his left with a silent plea of forgiveness
Then waited for the call

It was raining, she forgot her umbrella
She was rushing until she felt something under her shoe
She bent down only to find a wallet
She quickly shoved it into her bag and ran to her destination

She burst through the door of her apartment
She felt her heart lift as she took in her stuff
She was so tired of city life
She threw her bag down and took the key out of the door

Once she had her hot chocolate, she sat down and pulled out the wallet

It was usual things, cash, pictures, credit cards and a driver license

She liked the sweet smile that was looking back at her
The crinkle at the corner of the eyes, looked like he liked to laugh a lot

She then found a phone number and sighed with relief

She looked at the time and took a chance

She was greeted by a smooth voice and felt her insides flutter
They agreed to meet the next day where she had found the wallet near the fountain

She was excited

The next day as she neared the fountain she saw a familiar figure and stopped
Her hand covering her mouth

He smiled wide at her, “It’s been a long time, Eve.”

Posted in Writing

What About Time?

He lived years ago
Close minded
Crowned to be prince
A man on a mission
Only seeking revenge
She read books on him
Knew his history inside out

Imagine being plummeted into his world

Meeting the man that all feared
Now imagine him only having eyes for her
He’d give up his dynasty for her
He’d forsake his country, his pride for love

Imagine to live like that, to be loved like that

She moves, he moves

His eyes never left her face
Even as she was tumbling away from his time back into hers

He kept building, finding his way back to her
Trying so hard to capture her time in his hands
Having the crown, having the country at your bidding
Doesn’t mean that you can control time
Only money, only power can control so much
There are limits to being the Emperor, in the end he was only human
His fairy tale could only take him so far

She was out of his reach, out of her time

His heart found her, only to lose her

She found his dynasty
She found his picture
She found all of his past
The scars that were left from finding a once in a lifetime love

Her story was just beginning in a time without him

What would you do?

Posted in Writing

Walking Chains

I use to hear your words
Back stabbing
Tearing others down
I always wondered if you were doing it to me too

I got my answers sooner than I expected

You thought I was stupid

I could see through you

You made it crystal clear where I stood with you from the beginning
You never took well to change

I went against your ways
I was no longer held under your spell

You used love to trap me
But it didn’t work out very well

I was too wild for your little society
I was using my mind and finding my own way
I never fit in with your little friends
And I liked it like that

I wasn’t meant to fit into your mold
I made my own place in this world
It wasn’t by your side, like you wanted

You’ve accused me of abandoning you
Of leaving you alone
I never left you
I keep you at a safe distance for my own sanity
I can’t take on your baggage anymore
I’m still trying to fix myself from all of your s piled on me

I was too wild for your little society
I was using my mind and finding my own
Breaking the chains you tried to tighten

Making my way across the path less taken

Posted in Writing

Speaking Darkness

Your attack left me speechless
I wasn’t looking to compete against you
I never wanted to be put into your path

The cuts and bruises you’ve marked on my body
Is like a treasure map that leads to nowhere

I don’t know what to expect every interaction you seek out from me
If I don’t say the right words
If I don’t speak just right to appease your ego
I might be left out in the cold again

I might be the one that has stones thrown at me

Its so hard to tiptoe past your assaults
To not draw attention to myself

If you could lock me away from him
You would take the chance and throw away the key
My voice shouldn’t be heard
Unless you’re putting the words in them for me

Your speculations are no where close to the truth
But its always going to be your truth

So I address you with silence

Posted in Writing

Fleeting Stance

Yes, I’m broken
I’ve tried so hard
I keep ending up on my knees
Praying for a way out
Trying to find myself
Crawling through this hardship
Feeling the pain
Pushed my way through the crowd
Only to find a few that are loyal
Finding a few that won’t back stab me
No need for a over share
Keep my heart encased in glass
Trying not to break

Keep my head high
Don’t stop
Holding onto my smile and hope, like a life line
Praying that there will be light at the end
This isn’t about finding love
Or about others this is about me
I won’t fall again
I won’t break
I’m in this to win

But I don’t think my body is in it for the same reason
She’s breaking, she can’t hold up to my spirit
She’s failing on me
There’s a chance I won’t make it
The doctor’s are circling around me

But I won’t let this be the end

I can still hope

Posted in Writing

The Little Things

You don’t see him like I do
You don’t see the small smiles he gives
And when he’s going through the day
It makes me happy to see him

You don’t know all the little things he does
Like when he calls me about a joke that made him laugh
Or the times when hearing his laughter makes my day

I don’t show it like everyone else
But I really love those things about him

When he’s silly and the boy I used to know comes out

You don’t know how much love you can pour into someone until you fall for them

You don’t know how cute she is when she’s mad
She tried to hide it but when she stomps her foot
It makes me want to laugh
It takes a lot to get her there
When she looks at me with an annoyed expression
I know I’ve done well
Because she doesn’t see herself like I see her

You don’t know how amazing it is to see her smile, hear her laughter
Love’s got a hold of me and I don’t mind it at all

Knowing this life before her, the loneliness, I didn’t know how miserable I was
Until she came stumbling through the door , until our eyes met
All the other girls didn’t hold a candle to her
Her goofiness and her ways make me smile

There’s never going to be anyone I’m going to love well maybe except our daughters but that’s ok because they will be the splitting image of her

Love is amazing

Posted in Writing

Precious Love

You never see yourself clearly
You never see how his eyes are always watching you
Keeping track of your movement
Not being a stalker, just being protective
Just in case you fall, like the klutz you are

But its more than that

When you turn around his eyes are somewhere else
It makes me smile watching you two
The love that I see is so apparent
But everyone chooses to turn away
Pretend like its not there

There’s so many that ship you two
So many that wish they could know more
But this love is fragile and sweet
It’s meant to be shared by 2 people not the world
Stolen moments
Precious memories
Hoping for the day when a wedding ring will happen
The world can’t fight against love
The speculations will finally be put to rest
Happily ever after that never ends
Is a wish in many hearts

Posted in Writing

Sunset Love

She’s stuck in this tower
Not resigned to live this way
She chose to be this way

The monster within her, caged and alone
To deal with it on her own terms
Dreaming of the day when she could find someone
That can handle them both
Dreaming of the day when she doesn’t have drop her eyes

The fire within her can be seen
She doesn’t have to hide away
Be docile and obedient

Her heart can be found within
But no one dares to look closer
Always tossing her aside
Never caring about the woman within

Only judging her by what they see
What they think she should be
Fitted into a mold

A mold she’d rather break free from
Built from hate and change

Until he appears
A smile on his face
A caring touch
A sunset love
A love that frees her