Posted in Writing

For Always

I thought it was an accident, how you and I met each other
Later on, I would find out differently

But what was I to think

Your sweet eyes
Changed my life
So tough on the outside
But so easy to love
Just to get close enough to fall in love with

Violence tore us apart
Never knew what our future held

You never gave up, grabbing my hand
Spinning me around
Keeping me close
Never letting go

Your lips taught me how to speak without words
Your nightmares finally stopped with me around
You were dealing with so much but I loved you

During the chaos, your hand never let go of mine
Watching me from the rooftop
Your feet dangling over the streets
You never gave up on us

Your eyes held mine
Comforting me, you’re always the one I look to

When this world proves to be too much
You’re the one I go to
Its your arms I seek
In the middle of the night, if you’re not there
Your pillow will hold me through
Until my arms can feel you again

Through the years, its always been you
And if we’re ever through with each other
There won’t be anyone else, not for me
Because I don’t want to try again
I’ll keep our memories

When my world ends
It’ll still be your name on my lips
My hand will always reach for you

No matter what happens
You save me

Eternally

Posted in Writing

Rouge Acrimony

Anger boils over
Composing in cardinal sin
My eyes only see in eloquent color
I’m petitioning Divus
Sharing my rage with whomever hears me
My soul belabors unyielding satisfaction
I begin to feel the switch slip into place
My emotions turns off
I welcome the numbness

All that is left is the leviathan that you created
The behemoth left in your wake

Like Frankenstein, you pulled away my humanity
Made me lose myself with your emotionless demands
Tore a family apart because you only cared about the he said, she said bullshit

You still haven’t learned

Signal your plans
Manipulate the plot
Turn it from anyone else
Make it all about yourself

Steal away the love
Nothing loss
Because you tossed it all away
Sing your own praises
Never remember the one ones that got you there

Decorate yourself the way you want
Never sharing the whole story
Everyone else is wrong
Its your gospel anyway

I build in silence
I try to control my temper
Let you shoot yourself in the foot
Let everyone else make their own opinion

I’ve got my own yard to tend to
Knock yourself out
Until you learn that silence isn’t a weakness

Posted in Writing

Bombing Innocence

Like walking in with a bomb vest.  Everything goes to shit

It took 6 minutes for it all to sink in
I should have seen it coming
I should have sheltered her
Saved her

In my field, I know the signs
You always hurt the one that you loves you the most
You lash out to break your own curse

But this time you made one a part of your crime
You left her standing there in a daze
Her eyes glassed over as the tears clouded her brown eyes
You left a diseaster in your wake
No remorse came from you
No apologies
You acted like you did nothing wrong

Your heated words were meant for me
The burns you left smoking on her, were all meant for me

I saw her break down into herself
The shutdown came
I couldn’t save her

I knew it was too good to be true
You were a time bomb ready to explode
But you took it out on the wrong person
You hurt her more than you’ll ever know

I raised her to be strong
But no one can take a beating like the one you give

This time you broke her innocent heart and in turn broke the seal on my anger

If I could have got back just a few seconds
Be faster
Guard better

I could have stopped the breaking of her heart
Get back that innocent
Just a few seconds before her tears fell
Before she saw the disappointment of a true narcissist is all about.

You could have stayed her superhero
She could have kept her innocence
I could have still have the illusion of hope 

Posted in Writing

Demons Interlude

She’s crawling over me again

Grappling against my sanity

Rising the anxiety

Like we’re in a poker game and it’s my soul up for grabs

Life folds as the ante is upped again

Here comes Death knocking on the table

Her painted red nails tapping quickly hoping to join in the fun
My demons lay at her feet like obedient dogs waiting for the prime rib to be served in the form of me

My eyes quickly dart around the table taking in everyone that’s there
Searching for something til they land on my savior – the one throwing in everything he’s got.

….

Hope.

Posted in Writing

Villians Underlining

My throat is raw and can still feel your thumb pressing against that spot.
I thought you weren’t going to let me go

We’re at odds again

Your teeth biting down on you lip drawing blood, you let me go with your head hung low and growled, “Stay away from me.  I’m not yours to save.”

You were always so sweet to her but with me I got to see the real you
The one that you hid from the world

I was the one person that can get you to lose control
Push your buttons just right
Pick a fight with you and you start pacing around the cage
Gripping the bars each time
Trying to shove me away

It was never my business, you would hiss at me
It was never my place
But you and I always had a tendency to push each other

Yin to Yang

Someone has to make you feel when you decide to go numb
Someone has to be your soundboard, when you shut down

You refrain from speaking because you were always everyone elses savior
But who was saving you?

I leave bite marks on myself just to remember the pain
I was the door mat
I was the one that never got angry
Kept my mouth shut and said what everyone wanted to hear
No one was there to save me

I was meant to be alone

You were meant for a different destiny

We bring out the worst in each other

We start a war of words
Then it becomes wounds that never burn the skin
Then it becomes marks left by frustration and pain

The marks of teeth against my skin reminds me that I’m still human…for the most part
But I’m bred from the same monster that you were
Two peas in a pod, are we

Thought with your hands around my throat,  I wouldn’t get to see another sun rise
Sometimes you and I lose ourselves
Our demons come out to play and there’s no stopping the carnage

I made you do this I had complete control over you
We both lost control and spiraled out of time
We repeated the same mistakes that we saw years ago

It’s always blamed on me
It’s always blamed on you

Back and forth we go
Recreating the black abyss we were both raised in
Until we stop for a moment and breathe
Until we let it all go and realize we have to break the cycle again

We have to put away our monsters

Posted in Writing

Wounded Monstrosity

Leaning in, you can smell the blood on him
His fangs aren’t shown
His casual smile hides the demon
He wants a snack
Any human will do

Her words weave a spell around him
Bounding him to her
A barb wire wrapped around his heart
Tightens every time he tries to rebel against her magic

His eyes shut and he grimaces in pain
The torture and the fight draining out of him
He has to charge into burning buildings
All at her whim

Negotiated at a kiss

He’s suppose to fall in love with her

Never to rest

Her trap is set
But they’re both captive

The spell was a two sided blade
She fell, his body shielding her from it all
Her heart went down the rabbit’s hole
Her eyes sought his, running her eyes over his form
Making sure he wasn’t hurt
She turned around and started to protect the monster
He saw straight to her heart
And the barb wire was no longer there

He had fallen, a monster straight out of the myths
She was his weakness

Goodbye to the killing
Goodbye to the slaughter

She was setting him on a path, all for her
All for love

Posted in Writing

Inflicted Resonance

Reaching out from the blood stain floor
Didn’t want to die tonight
My brain wouldn’t shut up

No one to save me from the voices

Feeling like the world is crumbling around me, again

The cold steel against my skin
Doesn’t give me comfort
Feeling like this world isn’t fair

Trying not to fade in front of you
Instead you pick me up and carry me like a fragile glass
Cradling me close to your chest
Afraid that I’ll disappear from you
You keep the contact going even after you’ve deposited where you want me to be

Was it my imagination
Did a tear slide down your cheek?
The cold steel against my skin
Doesn’t move

You remind me of all the things that keep me chained to this Earth
You hold me closer as you describe all the things we’re going to do together
You tell me how the heart might be fragile but its the one thing that exceeds the impossible
Such a small thing can keep us going even after all the words fade
Because it holds us there together like a photo in a locket

You look at me and remind me that we all have a purpose
Mine, is to keep you going
You couldn’t live in a world without me in it

You reach up and move my hair out of my eyes
That, what everyone else has said, was wrong
You cup my face in your hands, reminding me only to keep your voice in my head
You repeat over and over, “I love you,” my eyes start to close but still I hear your voice

Invading me, reminding me, never letting go

Posted in Writing

Lost Abyss

She use to paint
She use to be able to draw his face
Her hands knew the strokes of his face
Until he was gone
Then her will to paint faded with him leaving

An artist lost in the abyss

Her eyes look for his likeness even now

Her tears fall onto her fingertips
As his own draws her lips

He’s in another world drawing her face over and over
He’s never lost his memories of her
In that life he became the painter

He felt like the world would never be the same
He needed her
Love is choosing one person and saying I’ll love you

Useless hearts that don’t give you a choice

Sadness reigns supreme

Until the day….

An eclipse draws them into each other worlds

Two people lost in the abyss, find each other

One kiss seals the deal
Never alone again

Posted in Writing

Demolished Fate

Trying to change the fates is like trying to stop a storm

Being a part of a love that’s destined to fail
Is like Romeo and Juliet never happening

You sneak into my heart
Your hooded face holding me captive

You put my demons at bay
They yield to you as their master
Then your touch, puts out the fires, that scratch at my surface

Your smile puts me at ease, even though you’re the one that can cut me to the quick

You hold the blade still tightly against my throat
While you whisper in my ear, “I’m here to save you.”

I don’t know if you’re my savior or the devil

You speak of love in my dreams
In waking, you speak of my murder

The scars others left on you
You take out your anger on everyone around you
Burning anything that’s good
You’re like a wild wolf, trying to put yourself under
Clawing at everything around you

No one knows your weaknesses
You hold everything close to your chest
Because you don’t want to let anyone get the one up on you ever again

You’re waiting for someone to pounce on you
So you’d rather hurt those you love first
Shielding yourself from hurt
But when you attack
You leave behind the craving for revenge
The emotionless become you
Like a disease being spread
You burn those behind  you

The flames leap from your wounds
Changing into broken armor
Making you rise, stronger but defective

Posted in Writing

Chromatically Linked

Write my story
List off all my attributes
See how you shake my core
Bring my demons to the forefront
Show all my scars to a gasping crowd
Make me into the killer

Wrap my hand around the gun
Fire it straight into my heart

Kiss me awake
Beat the breath back into my dead lungs
Flame my anger into the blackened night
Fade into the crowd
Never to be seen again

Test my faith
Grant me a glimpse into a happy life
Then take it away
With only few phone calls and acknowledgements that I was ever a part of you

Drive away in the getaway car
Leave the crime scene

Kiss me awake again
Give me a different world where I can live
Hug me into existence
Make my gray world, colored again

Draw me into your life
Make my expressions genuine
Sketch my heart into substance
Let the rain drape around me to create every curve I have
Form me into existence

Now, never let me go
Live this new life with me
Make my memories merge into yours

Love me into being