**Listening to Family Portrait by Pink**
I’m so sorry for the times that I thought I was doing the best by you. I’m sorry for the men I let into your life – some of them I had no control over and they hurt you.
I’m sorry for the people that I put before you. Thinking that they would have done the same for you as I did for them but only turned around and dragged us into their drama and left us holding everything while they flitted away to live their lives.
Dear me, I’m sorry for the times that I thought I was doing right by you when all I did was hurt you instead of hurting the person that hurt me. That told me that I was ugly, a whore, hideous and I shoved food into you until I stopped one day and saw the terror I had done to you.
I’m sorry for the scars left on you and the pain I inflicted because I thought no one loved me. When I should have been loving myself. For threatening to cut you over a boy that didn’t give me the time or the day. When my life has always been worth more than any boy. I’m sorry for the times I wished I had never been born because my parents made me feel like a burden and a pawn in their selfish lives while they tried to tear each other apart and instead made me bear their pain when they couldn’t even get along.
I’m sorry that it took me so long to get to where I am and to realize that the resentment I feel isn’t towards myself anymore. For once I love myself and I have pulled away from all the toxic people to save myself. I’m still working on me and I’ll make it up to you by first loving myself. I won’t do the mistakes from the past. I won’t let you fall so deep I’ll pick myself up and I won’t threaten to take my life because its a life worth living.
Thank you for being me. Thank you for letting me have one body. From here on out I’ll take care of it.
Thank you for reading this.