Posted in Writing

Strength Enough To Scare The Devil

It takes a strong woman to know what she wants
It takes a strong heart to find its way from out of the cage
Everyone wants her to go from one end to another
She bent over and pleased everyone
Her strings kept her held up
But she never realized that it was all her
But they lied to her
Kept saying how she wasn’t able to live without them
Stopping her from seeing the world
Stopping her from knowing there was so much more out there

It takes a strong woman to wake up with the day
Knowing that she can take on this day
But strength isn’t what keeps her going
It’s all about the will, the want, the need
Tackle the day with newness
Learn how to fight and live becausse sometimes

All it takes is a want

Posted in Writing

Reminder : I got you

I’ve got the hammer and the tape baby
You come walking in with the thumb tacks and the glue
We sit down together
We’ve got everything in front of us
It’s time to let go of the past
It’s time to repair the hurt
The past needs to go back to where it belongs the past
You know there will be times when I’m scared
I’ll bring it up
You just nod your head you know to just tell me, “I got you and remind me we’re not going to repeat what happened.”
I put tape around the bruises of your heart, I start nailed it back together, while you glue mine, use the thumb tacks to put it back together
Until they’re repaired
Until they go back into use
We are healed and ready for this next stage
It’ll be ok
We’re going to make it through this next phase
We’ve got this

Posted in Writing

Falling into their traps

I won’t stay in the dark
I won’t let her wrap her hands around me
She’s slithering up to me, trying to grab my hair and hold me down
She whispers her name against my ear, “Anxiety’s here, darling, I’m ready for you.”
I jerk my head away

I won’t go under with her at the helm.

Then he walks up, a swagger in his stride
“Hello, Baby Girl, I’m ready for my debut.” He wraps his hands around my throat, “Depression is here to drag you down.”
I push him away from me, I don’t want any part of him
I grasp for air only to find a chill go through my body

“You don’t want to sleep for days, honey, just give into me and let me run you ragged with your brain never stopping.” Insomnia finds my weakness and wraps herself around me like a snake catching it’s prey.

I almost let it take a hold of me, all their faces above me, trying to drag me down. Trying to get to me until a warm hand reaches through, wakes me up and he’s sitting right there knowing what I deal with, pulls me close and reminds me that there’s an ear listening. “I got you.” Is all he saids to me,

Posted in Writing

Made It

The fire is set up
We’ve got blankets over us
Snuggled close together
Enjoying the night together

The sky above us looks beautiful
As our hands are entwined
This is our life
This is where we belong
We finally found our nitch

You smile at me as I talk your ear off again
You’ve got my heart
We did this together
We figured out how to do this
Together, we got to where we’ve been dreaming to go
We finally made it work
My heart is full
You helped me along this way
I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you
You made everything come true
Every dream I ever had
As I lean over to kiss you
You smile and say, “You’re my lucky star.”

Posted in Writing

Having a place to go to is Home

I stand there in the middle, it’s overwhelming to have a place
A place I can call my own
No help from anyone else
No one holding it over my head
No one telling me I can keep it if I do something in return
It makes my heart warm
I turn to see him smiling at me
The same thoughts
We circle each other our hearts beating
With one look he knows what I’m thinking
He understands how I feel
The happiness is unreal
How long have we dreamed for this
How long have we wanted this
How long have we wanted a home
A place where we could finally set our roots down
Somewhere, that we could finally feel at peace
Our dreams finally came true
No one believes us but we know what we have
We know what we have
And it feels damn good
Blood isn’t thicker than friends

Posted in Writing

Small World, Lots of Love

When he leaves she cries at the door
He’s her hero
He can save the world for her
He means so much to her
He keeps her safe and warm
When the world crashes on her
She calls out to him and he swoops in
He is her own personal Captain America
Every hero she sees that flashes across the screen
Is another hero embodying her daddy
He is her world
He can save the world for her
He brings a big smile on her face

And as she grows, as she changes
She still looks to him
Her eyes get wide and she smiles the same smile that he has
When they’re together you see who she truly admires
He’s her 3000, the bright star in her life

And as I watch them, I smile because when her heart gets broken
Heaven help the boy that does it

Because her daddy would come running for his baby girl

Posted in Writing

Disconnected Lines

Every heart that aches, every heart that breaks
I stand there with another box
My head held high
Toss it in the shed and move on

You can walk away from me
Let your lies keep you warm
Sending your words through the lines
Until my phone pings
Thinking you’re so brave
When you don’t even have the guts to say it all to my face

These boys are something else
The ghosting, the cuffing, the hiding before the computers
The trolls won’t stay under their bridge
Thinking they’ll do damage but the greatest thing ever invented was the power button

Walk around in the shadows, your face never revealed
Your voice never heard
You think you can walk away from me
Let your lies keep you warm
Sending your words through the lines
But my phone is already off

Posted in Writing

Lessons Learned and finding better times

I wasn’t ready to see your face
I wondered what you thought when you saw me
Your eyes widened as we stood across from each other
I was so surprised by the look on your face
For a moment I thought you were happy
Your hand reached out to me

I didn’t mean to draw back but all the memories overwhelmed me
I didn’t know what to do but to pull away
You were so mean to me
You and your buddies drove my life from bearable to a living hell

I would have liked to see the younger me and told her there were better times coming
That these fools were only part of her life for a little bit
But there was no hero to save me from that hell
School wasn’t my escape anymore
Neither was home
I had no where to go
Every place that I tried to find refuge was ruined by some stupid boy or another

I was a lost soul wandering around a small town, wondering what was so bad about me
One mistake and I was condemned and as long as I lived in that town, it was miserable

A home is what you make it

I finally found my refuge, found strong arms and I can build someone else up instead of tearing them down

Posted in Writing

Got through the Hard Times to Become Something More

I would have given his my faith
I would have followed him to the ends of the world
I would have let him take over me
Make me his completely

I was asking for torture
But I wanted an escape from all of this
Someone to take over me
Take me away from the pain
I wasn’t ashamed at the chance to be overcomed

I thought I was weak
I thought I had nothing going for me
There’s always that one person that you would let have their way
He wass that for me

But then one day I woke up
I saw the girl standing there
Like something from a horror movie
I didn’t want to be her anymore
I didn’t want the weakness to run wild
I wanted to be free from being under everyones thumb

So I broke that mirror, cut my hair
Got my life back
Became someone that he and anyone else from my path wouldn’t recognize
The accused drama queen found her peace

Posted in Writing

It’s His Fight

Left him shaking in the doorway
She threw her evil smile over her shoulder at him
As she walked away
Another stumble and then he collapsed in front of the door

She left him where he was the phone already to her ear
Two phone calls, a taxi hailed, she left the crime scene with grace and pride in tact

I rushed over as soon as I got off the phone
Running at full speed to make it to his apartment
Bursting through the door only to find a hole where his heart was
His hands twitching
Tears frozen on his face
His gazed over eyes staring straight through me

She did it again, the player playing the game
He was her causality, now she’s moved on
Only thing left at the crime scene is a broken man and her red scarf

Days go by, she sits next to him, willing him back to life
The only way to break the spell is that he has to have the will

The want, the need
It’s all in his corner