Posted in Writing

Recalling Imperfection

You defeated me  
You injured me  
Now I have to retrieve who I was  
Observe myself all over again  
 
I’m provoked  
I’m sorrowful  
I want to cry  
Again, thanks for making me the jester  
 
You think everything can go back to normal  
You’re amiss  
I’m not done  
 
I’m going to burn aside what little is left of the broken woman  
I tried putting her back together, so you couldn’t hurt her 
I neglected to know how much power you had  
 
Now it’s time for to lock away the heart  
Chain up the feelings  
Restrain the brain along with it  
Use logic to flee from this  
Discover my way  
Burn the last shred of dignity that poor woman experienced  
 
You don’t acquire to me anymore
You don’t have the right to see the happy me  
 
You don’t get to struggle for me  
I can command my own dragons  
I can pull through on my own  
 
You don’t get to see me at my best  
Simply you’ll feel the worst of it  
When I’m finished  
You’ll wish you never hurt the girl, nor the woman that both loved with their very existence
 
You took a risk, then took a loss with no gain

Posted in Writing

Soul’s Faded Light

Her soul wasn’t supposed to be stolen from him  
She was the one constant that kept his heart beating  
Her soul had her eyes that would stare at him  
She would drift around him, caressing him  
Reminding him that heaven was never too far away  
 
She was his everything  
Even til her last breath, her eyes never left his  
 
The guilt made his screams louder 
The look of pain in her brown eyes  
Drove him mad  
He used magic that should never be touched  
Traded his soul  
Just to have hers stay connected with his 
 
Her soul wasn’t supposed to be stolen from him  
But heaven had other plans  
Now that the demon had come  
The man that once dwelled had long died  
 
Her scent drew him closer to where she was  
 
A tit for a tat  
Emotions running high  
Tail tale signs of a battle as tension rose  
Drew everyone inside away from the scene that was about to play  
 
She was his everything  
That kept him from going feral  
That kept him grounded  
 

Seeing her soul in chains nearly drove him to the brink 
Seeing her eyes looking at him like she used to 
Knowing that he was her rock  
Her knight in tarnished armor  
She never hid the fact she knew that he was never going to fit in the suits or ties 
 
She was the only one that accepted him as him  
 
Now because he couldn’t let her go 

This was where her soul had come to die. 

Posted in Writing

Shy Love

oooo Shy boy come over here
Don’t avert your eyes from me
Give me your heart
Look my way
Give me your heart

oooo It’s a new morning
Let’s wake up to the birds singing
A new relationship is bringing a smile to our faces

Another love story to go into the books
Another story with a happy ending
I promise you, we’ll make our way through the hardtimes
We’ll be together

Won’t you be my Shy Boy
Open up to me
Show each other the world through rose colored glasses

Find our way past this dark world
Make it shiny again
Find a way to bring the light

oooo shy boy give me your heart
Won’t you be my shy boy
Look my way
Shine brightly, my shy boy

Posted in Writing

Gravitating Moments

Soaring to you in my dreams
Yesterday just to be held was everything

Falling asleep in your arms
Brought back thoughts of simpler times
That we took for granted
Days we now love with our memories
Sometimes it felt like there weren’t enough time for us

We were too busy rushing
Too busy pushing
Into something
Not realizing that that magical was already there
Missed out on the smaller moments
Too busy fighting
Too busy being lost into what everyone else wanted
Not standing still, doing what we wanted

Yesterday’s moment will keep me warm
It won’t fade away

Posted in Writing

Distorted Lovers

I thought the words were already written
I thought I had your heart
The lyrics were in your eyes
But they were being sung to someone else
The melody was wrapping around someone else’s hands
Stroking them like a lover’s caress

Torn between waking and dying
Your lips only holding her on the edge
Never wanting to wake up from this dream
Arms so real
Eyes so deep
It’s you, but not the reality

The gun snug against your side
Willing to protect her
You can’t even see the danger
You’re fighting against time
You’re holding onto her when she’s not even yours

Her voice calls you even when you’re torn between waking and dying
She’s got you on the edge
Between madness and wanting

Posted in Writing

Not What You Wanted

I don’t need dresses and castles
I just want my paints, a pencil and music
A place where I can sing while I paint

Running away from the screams, the expectations
The tasks of being what everyone else wants me to be

The disappointment of no reaction to my news
Just met with, “Why don’t you do this instead.”

I want to flung away everyone from me
Run to what I want and become what I needed to be when I was younger

Finally, I found my passion, my want
It’s not too much to ask for
To be seen
To be acknowledged
I’ve only just started
I’m worth it
I know what I want
I know what I’m doing
I’m starting to plan it out

Do you see me yet?

I’m not even close to what you expected

Are you ready for this?

Cause I am

Posted in Writing

Dark Orbit

Help me light your way
Help me find you
Lost in the woods
The world is swirling
But you won’t even look up to see the North Star
Finding your way out of this mess
Means you need more time
To stay here and be swallowed by darkness

Your heart is beating slower
Your eyes are dark from all the pain

You won’t let your voice rest
You won’t stop for a moment
Or your brain won’t stop overthinking
Sleep is a dream
Or a living nightmare
Memories overplay like a damaged headache
Pain turns you away from the happiness

Your heart is beating slower
Like a tempo to your favorite song
Your brain won’t stop overthinking
Sleep is a living nightmare

Dark from all this pain

Posted in Writing

Gliding Hearts

My painting brought a tear to you
The words flowed around you
The magic made your heart fall for you
Your broken heart healed
I always had a weakness for broken guys
Always wanted to repair them

Heartbreak never looks good on anyone
It only breaks my heart
That she took you and left you
Never trying harder to stay
All it would have taken was loyalty
All it would have taken was keeping your picture near

Talking every day, remembering the reason why you fell in love
It takes two to rise like a phoenix and make a relationship work
It takes two to know that this can go somewhere
Or why even try in the first place?

Your head was bowed, the sleep is lacking
Your eyes bleed clear
Your heart is shattered
You’re just running on autopilot not letting anyone in

You’re saying sayonara over and over until the crack disappears
There will only be stitches left where you once had flesh

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know how to make you laugh
Or convince you there are girls out there that are made just for you

It hurts my heart to watch you struggle to see what you’re doing

You’re just running on autopilot until you crash or land…..

Posted in Writing

Searching for Paint

Searching for another song
Another break from the daily grind
Have to show something that’s close to my heart
Explain what I’m doing
Portray myself as sophisicated
Show the world a part of me
I’m not good at this
Trying to excel

I just want to find a corner and paint
I just want to sing my heart out
Until I’m whole again

Turn around and find someone’s hugs wrapped around me

No guessing
No games
No back stabbing
Just breathing between us

Knowing that I’ll go where you go
Knowing that I’ll be your everything

I just want to embrace what I’ve been holding back
They call this a phase
A rebellion I call this showing myself
I’m scared shitless
I won’t back down though
I want to show what I’m made of
Even if I have to go through it alone

Give me a chance to show you more than what you want to judge me for

Just give me your hand
Trust me, show me you’ve got me too

Posted in Writing

I’m a One Girl, One Guy type

I write about love because that’s what I want most

I kept silent, trying to figure out where I was going
Trying to find my way
It’s another new year
Another time for the truths and hatreds to hit me

I’m pushing through, rebelling

I’ve got stories spinning in my head
Wants but I’m so afraid
If I speak what I want
Will I push everyone away?

If I go for what I want?
Will I lose everything?

I’m singing my voice out
To calm the tremors
That are wracking my body
I’m longing for that look that tells me that I’m home
I’m looking for that someone that’s going to tell me I’m his

I’ve been going for so long
My heart is shielded
My eyes are open
I found my path
Now will everything settle?