Posted in Writing

Evolved Honeydew

I tried so hard to be the same girl
I thought she was destroyed
I thought she was lost

But she’s made of stronger material than I gave her credit for
She peeks out and I see a glimpse of her
The sunshine and the rain combined
A bit of mischief and a bit of honeydew
The times when she would wake up with the sun
Before the trauma set in
Before the nightmares took over
She used to wake up with the sun and sing to her hearts content
Always singing, always happy
Shining and bringing laughter with her

I tried so hard to let her be destroyed
Let those cruel circumstances tug her down
But she’s still pushing her way up through the grave
Reaching for my soul
Holding on and let her long hair freed
Being so much more than what I let her be
I killed her dreams
I let her go because I didn’t want to be what everyone else wanted
I thought it was time to let her die
But she evolved, and she’s still there in the background of the chatter
Wanting to be free, wanting to dance and sing like she used to
Reflected in the mirror every day I see her behind my eyes
Wanting to leave this world in flames
Tug my sensibilities down and for once take control
Begging for a chance to push through
Rip through me like a Tigress
Just for a moment, shut my eyes and let her through
My heart beats her chanting of just to let her out
Just long enough for her to stretch her legs and be able to do what she wants ……

Posted in Writing

Call Out

Facing the mirror, it’s my time to rise again
To face this world, already found my place
I prefer to build in silence
So the world can mind its own business
No one truly knows what I’m thinking
These words I write are a small glimpse into my soul

You can sit there and pick at it until the wee hours of the morning
But remember that you aren’t getting the whole story
You don’t know what I went through to get here
What I had to give up
What tears were given in exchange for this peace

I had to sit there and nitpick everything that I didn’t like
One by one I let them go
Picking myself everytime

Knowing that if we ever were to meet again
We could never go back to what use to be
I knew that’s what I had to lose in order to achieve happiness

So while my name is being dragged through the mud
Remember as you hear the rumors
What the other person is hiding in their closet and are they really that innocent?

Because no one wants me to share their secrets

Posted in Writing

Captive Prayers

She tried to put me back into that bottle
Sewed my lips closed
Made me grow out my hair
Shut my eyes because she couldn’t stand my eyes darting around looking for you
Praying that you would save me

She hated hearing your name on my lips
She slapped the tears out of me

She crackle happily as I laid there helpless

But then her face turned into a hideous grimace as she saw you climb through the window
My eyes widened, and she pushed the bottle further out of your grasp

You had to play her games in order to break me out

Your eyes teared up as you took in my long hair, my closed eyes, my sewn lips
You saw my hands were bound and tears were collecting on the glass
You agreed and I internally screamed

This wasn’t going to end well

Posted in Writing

Simple Escape

Escaping from the lights that are popping in front of us
Running from the demands from the world
Trying to find a little time to ourselves
Rising up over the gearshift
Shhh, baby is all I whisper
Trying to find the rhythm, while we’re trying to find each other

Escaping from the world
The demands

Don’t mess this thing up with the words that only cheapen this moment
Don’t try to put a label to it
Just reach out to me

Shhh, baby is all I whisper
Breaking the darkness but not the spell

Escape this world
Just let it be you and me in the darkness

Don’t let the world in
Let it just be you and me

Just you and me

Posted in Writing

Darkened Nights Wanted

We enjoyed the night, laughter echoing down this empty highway
Music blaring, eyes darting back and forth between the road and us
Playing games, flirting
Finding ourselves in the dark
Only surrounded by the night sky
Running from the time
The responsibilities

Never knowing that would be our last night

Youth is always fleeting

The next day you were gone
No word, no letter
Just ghosting into the darkness
Taking my memories with you
Never saying goodbye
Running to another town
Finding yourself
Surrounded by the night sky
Running from the time and the responsibilities

Took what you wanted
Never saying goodbye

Left to follow footsteps that you fought so hard against
Put into what you didn’t want to be
Filling those scars with lies
Filling your cup up with the socialites and the spotlight
Left with emptiness
Missing those darkened nights

Posted in Writing

Reoccuring Memories

Let’s draw lines in the sand, baby
Let’s see whose the winner

Cause we aren’t friends anymore
You betrayed my side
You chose to go on your Sith way
You thought you were in the right
What the hell were you thinking?
Did you want to be alone for your whole life?
Did you want to play the victim?

Turning away like you have nothing left to say
I’m not done with you yet
I’m going to put my hands on you
Make you turn to face me
Pull that dear jayne letter out of your back pocket
Spin you around to face me

Get you to look into my eyes
See the anger that’s flaring up
You think you can chose to go on your way
Go join up with the forces
Running away?

Did you want to play the victim?
While I’m standing here with another dear jayne letter in my hand

Spin you around and face me
Make you turn to face me
Give me your hands
Give me your eyes Sir
Face me, face my heartbreak
Spin around, boy

Posted in Writing

No Time To Waste

I could never send you my words
I could never tell you what’s in my heart

Because that letter has been crumbled over and over about a million times

I’d rather build in silence
Because there’s no point in wasting my words on you anymore
I enjoy this silence

I have nothing to brag about
I have nothing to show to the world
Because all the things I want to show
Is being shown to the people in my own world

I’ve been where I felt like I was under a microscope
Held to a high degree
Perfecting the perfect family
But all those lies came crashing down
When I tried to reach out for help

I’m tired of living lies
When its all about everyone else

I have nothing to brag about because all the things that I’m proud of
Is being shown to those around me
And I don’t feel so empty anymore
I found my nitch and I found my happiness

I’ve been where I felt I had to hide everything

Held to a degree

Now I’m flying strong and sure

I found my nitch and I found my happiness

Posted in Writing

Old Haunts

Lost my balance
Missed a day
This chaos drove me into a deep sleep

I rushed everywhere, until I felt like I was broken

I was crawling through the darkness of your dreams
Reaching out to you
But your eyes didn’t recognize me
You turned away, a boy lost
I felt my future fade away
As your eyes didn’t look at me the same way again

I was running against time, trying to get you to remember
There was a promise of life

A better life with me by your side
But you were so broken in that dream
My heart screamed as you stared past me

Drunk on the pain, not believing in yourself

My heart pounded against your caged glass
Trying to reach you
Seeking your warmth
Trying to bring the man that I’ve fallen in love with –
Out of the sad boy instead that stood before me

A better life was waiting for you
Pounding fists trying to wake you up
Telling you there’s hope

But you were so broken
You wouldn’t listen to me

And as I come to, I find the man that I was trying to find
Trying to wake me up from this nightmare
But that lost boy still haunts my waking hours

Posted in Writing

Loved Him Back To Life

He wasn’t suppose to live
There were bloodstains on him
That showed he should have died that day
She wasn’t suppose to be where he could reach her
She wasn’t suppose to become his savior

As the years have passed looking back on that fateful day
She changed everything

She was his escape rope
When the world crashed down on him

He knew he wasn’t wanted
He knew he was just a burden but she reached out for him
Offered her hand to him
Took him away from hell
Showed him where he belonged
She kept believing in him when the world had given up on him
She didn’t believe all the accusations that were thrown his way
She believed he could be better
She believed in him

She spilled herself into pieces over him
Worried about him when others turned away
She was warned against loving him
The mistakes he had made with her
He would pay his life to atone for
She was the one thing that was constant in his life
She was the one that stuck by him
Held onto him when he was bloodstained and torn into pieces

She helped him live
Pieced his world back together
Loved him back to life

Posted in Writing

Identifying Social Instincts

There’s a different kind of call for help
That many overlook
A type that no one answers anymore

Many are so use to walking by
No hands being offered
People would rather walk by a crime scene
And pray that never happens to them
Then reach out and save someones life

There’s a different kind of love now a days
With empty words
And a computer screen separating Romeo and Juliet
Dying by poison is just deleting your facebook
And trolling everyone under an alternate identy

There’s a different kind of idealism
It’s tweeting a response and hoping to get 9 million followers
Calling to the masses by doing something popular

People bound and praying for their 15 minutes of fame
There’s a different kind of life now a days
Which way will you influence
What will you say to draw them in

There’s a different kind of humanity now a days

Where do you stand?