Reach You

I failed to protect you today
You always look to me
But sometimes you think that I can be everything you need
When really I’m only human, baby

Sometimes you think I can save you
But I’m going to have to let you fall sometimes
My heart hurts when I fail you
My body racks with pain
When I think of the disappointment that you’re going to have to go through
And there’s no magic wand to shield you from this world
There’s no fairy tail where Natsu jumps out of nowhere to save a falling Lucy

Baby, sometimes I wish I could show you that not all this world is bad
But I don’t think I have enough time to tell you all
And sometimes I think that today might be my last day with you

I’m so scared that I won’t have enough time to tell you it all
I just want you to know how much I love you
How much you mean to me
And I’m sorry that I’m not doing a great job
But I want you to know that I’m trying
I’m trying because I love you

You are my light, my life
You bring me a happiness that I never thought I could have
Much less deserved

So please know that I am only human
And please remember out of everything I try to teach you
I love you with all my heart

Advertisements

Chaotic Christmas

The snow drifts and briefly touches my window
My thoughts are in a daydream
Nutcrackers march across Jack Frost handiwork
Sugar plum faeries are dancing across my Christmas cookies that I just baked

The elves are checking on all the last minute touches

I’ve convinced them all that I work for Santa
When really I’m just a romance writer with dreams on the sky

This Christmas season has tested all of our patience
I’d rather run away from all of this organized chaos

Talking more to electronic voices over the phone
Please press 1 to speak in English
Driving me crazy

The drivers get ruder
The Christmas shoppers are too busy being in a rush
To say a kind word to anyone who stands in their way

Manners are disappearing and as the season of Hope nears
People are forgetting what it all stands for

Hand me one more cup of coffee
It’s going to be a long night

Dear Santa
Calm this chaotic Christmas

Sleeping Circumstances

You shut your eyes and I know exactly what you are thinking
We are cloned from the same circumstances
Trying to break the cycle

I feel like I’m turning into the beast that I’ve been fighting against
My wings are laid broken at my feet
The figurines that I once held
Are now broken and tossed into the trash

I’m trying to fly with wings that are just tattooed on my back
You’re trying to struggle to breathe out here without your ocean

We’re both trying to find our way out of the shadows that were cast over us

The freaks we are within
The pain that was pushed onto us
The burns she left behind on me
The marks he left behind on you
The wounds that never disappear
But are just scarred over

We’re fighting against a monster unseen

Beating against the door
The pounding drumming in our hearts
Our hands search for warmth
And only find each other

We’re lost causes
But together we break everything
The barriers, we have torn down
The pain that warped us
We now embrace it
Just hang on a little more baby

Just hold on baby
The end of the world won’t even break us
Because you and I are meant to be

The One

It’s the little touches
The looks
Baby, you pull me through

The happiness that you bring me
The sweet nothings
The sweet gestures you do

When I’m in the kitchen
You come up behind me
Wrap your arms around me
And take away the world’s stress

Or the times when this world proves to be too much
You’re the one who pulls my hands from my face
Make my eyes look at you
And you raise my love
Just by saying you love me, you’ve got me, just breathe

You take away the hard days
When all I want to do is scream
When I feel abandoned and I don’t know what lies to believe
You show me all the wrongs and are still there

You pull me closer as this world crashes down on my head
You pull me out from under the waves
You hold me and make me complete when I feel like my heart is in pieces

You won’t let me push you away
You were always the one who stayed near me
Who always called my name before I fell off the edge
The one who always kept me from losing sight

You are always the one

The Nutcracker War

They get into line
Each row, each Solider ready to put his life on the line

Keep your eyes on the lead
He watches as they come into view
His eyes dart to his sleeping princess

The one that wrapped him in sweet arms
The one that protected him from the other boys

His eyes quickly dart back
In order for the this curse to break
He has to fight for what he wants

He lines up the cannons, then the soldiers, then the archers
Everyone is in place

The drum starts and the fire of the cannons rumble through the living room

He shouts and they run to the brigade of mice
Attacking, parring, swinging, arrows streaming over their heads

And then he sees her and his heart stops
She stands there, a shoe swinging from her hands
And he thinks for a moment that he angered her
But then he hears a sword falls down
He turns to see that the mouse king almost had him

He turns back in time to see her fall into a faint with only one shoe

His soldiers part way as he runs past them to her side
Her side, where he’ll always stay

Angel Love

Sometimes a broken girl can hold onto everything and nothing at all 

She fluttered her wings
A nervous habit, she did well

She stared down at everyone running around

She made broken look beautiful – and strong look invincible – She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings

The tears wanted to fall down but she brushed them away,
Every Christmas she felt a loneliness that no one could understand
She envied the people running around
Some holding hands with their signicant others 
Others scowling down at their watches 
She felt the pain and the loneliness
Knowing that no one was waiting for her at home 

She felt the depression set in 
But she quickly shook her head

She felt ungrateful when she had a roof over her head 
She knew that she had things that others didn't have
But that didn't curb the pain in her heart 
She rubbed her chest and looked up to see eyes staring at her

He smiled sweetly and she returned it, a bit unsure 
She felt a subtle push and she half stumbled 
He put out his hand to steady her 
And chuckled, "A bit of ice." He mumbled to himself 
She looked down at his gloved hand and smiled 
He was warm and she liked the way he smelled
Like a mix of cinnamon with a bit of hot cocoa 

She looked at his eyes and she felt the her heart flutter 
She dropped her shopping bag in surprise 

He got down on bended knee and she heard people around her gasp 
She felt her cheeks turned red and began to turn away to explain
But he grabbed her hand and she turned back at him in surprise
He shook his head no 
"Let them think what they want. Will you go out with me?"

The angel smiled, 

There was hope yet ... "Way to go Dad," She smiled to herself...soon...

Crashing Nutcrackers and Snowflakes

Come over here baby
Hang up your coat

The things we use to believe in
Are being taken away from us

Too many snowflakes in the air
Getting their grievances being heard on high

Baby, it’s cold outside
No, don’t step too close
You might be seen as aggressive
Baby, didn’t you know that White Christmas
Should be plowed into the ground

Every ones too busy pointing fingers and never seeing the fingers being pointed back at themselves

Baby, I just wanted a happy moment
Instead our tree came crashing down
And the Nutcracker got his teeth knocked out
Unlike Clara I just had a good cry and no Herr Drosselmeyer to wrap him up

If Netflix ever got it right,
The spirit is down 15%
And Kurt Russell is trying so hard to save it

Baby, we aren’t kids anymore
And I feel like I’m losing the spirit
I see it weighing on you too
But don’t give up hope just yet

Cause Baby, there’s always miracles
And mine is you

Ramblings

He rises over me just to make sure I’m warm
I feel him pulling the blanket closer around me
I hear him breathing
And the smells that assault my nose
Brings a warm feeling
Like the first taste of Hot Chocolate
And I find myself wanting to giggle

His chocolate eyes make me sprout poetry
Sigh

This beautiful boy drives me crazy
He gets under my skin
And can make me so mad
His intellect can be so frustrating

I’m a girl with my head in daydreams
Logic has no place in my world
But he’s all about strategy

He looks so tough and always wearing a scowl on his face
He’s calculated and loves for others to underestimate him
So he can prove them all wrong

But with me he’s so tender and he makes me want to be with him forever

Sometimes he gets stuck in his head
And its like pulling teeth to get him out of it
He’s so use to relying on himself
He thinks he’s got to face this world alone
But he’s so wrong

I just wish I could tell him

I hear him in the other room
My frustration grows
For someone so brilliant
Its hard to articulate how I feel when it comes to him

His mind goes a million times faster, his anxiety gets the best of him

He’s got the world on his shoulders and he’s so afraid of the dark shadow that’s been hovering over his head his whole life

No boy should be held against the shadows of a man

But I peer around him, my arms circling his waist and I see that scowl go away

He smiles at me and all is right with the world

Door Step

I showed up to your door step
I know it was late
But I couldn’t stop banging on your door
As the rain collided with my tears
You opened the door
The beautiful boy that has wiped my tears away
The boy that was just a friend
But I needed to see you

I know my mascaras running
My watery smile gives everything away
Your arms wrap around me

And I feel your strength
Your warmth gives me safe harbor

I keep apologizing into your shoulder
My tears won’t stop falling
But you hold me close

You pull me in
Exclaiming over my shivering form
The Texan within you coming out
I hear that little twang that comes out
Not many catch it but I know every part of you

You wrap your favorite blanket around me
Not caring that I might ruin it
And I am engulfed with your smell
I feel like I’m home

Everywhere I look are little things that scream you
And I never want to leave
You’re my home
Beautiful Boy

I watch you as you walk around
Picking up things here and there
Your beautiful eyes keeping me in sight
And your mumbling over things makes me smile

You make me whole

As you hold me in your arms

My hands reach for yours

My favorite part of sleeping next to you, hearing you talk in your sleep

Yeah, there’s no where else I want to be, I think sleepily to myself, snuggled in your arms